iCreate

Hello dear readers

2008-06-21T10:44:00.000-07:00

not... that you exist.... XD

I just wanted to say that I'm going to start working out and getting fit, rather than just trying to get thin. I think that's the solution I was missing. I needed to put it into words so I couldn't cop out.

Me-

Me and her ♥
A PokemannnSNNZZZ

Just go to my DAMN DEVIANTART GALLERY.

The like confession

2008-04-08T20:36:00.000-07:00

I think I'm falling for you and
I like it when you hold my hand
I like it when you walk with me
even when I scrape my knee
and trip and fall
and get us lost
I like to walk with you
there's lots of things I'd like to do
Like say I love you on the phone
wear your hoody
walk you home
Yell at you about your past
hang up on you and call you back
I'd like to be the one with you
I'd like it if you'd like that too

♥HH

I hate...

2008-03-07T18:54:00.000-08:00

...when my friends fight. :'< They were fighting over... something unimportant. Oddly when Selah, Sara and Rachel were over, it was SELAH and RACHEL who ended up having drama. (out of my friends, Sara and Rachel couldn't even be in the same room together for a long time)

I would post art but I'm on the wrong computer. Lately I've been getting into http://www.art-cards.org/ anyways, so I don't have much digital art at the moment. @A@

Almost valentines day!

2008-02-13T21:37:00.000-08:00

My friends all hate Valentine's day, but I like it. I see it as an opportunity to be soppy over people. -u- Anyways, I'm doing something pretty neat for Rachel tomorrow that I'll tell you about then.

For now.... more lyric pages.

And OMG art??

>|

2008-02-07T20:36:00.000-08:00

I need to try harder to get a job, but the job market is such shit right now. Even my own reasons aren't enough to convince me to throw my effort into something I feel sure won't work anyways. And I keep fighting with my parents over it, which is something I never do. Sometimes I want to just start walking and never stop.

some stuff for something. 8D

Happy Birthday Blue~!

2008-01-31T18:37:00.000-08:00

My stupid brit friend is having a birthday. He managed to live for 18 whole years, and will probably live for many years after that, just so he can have an excuse to gripe. His excuse, of course, is that he's old. Old people are apparently allowed to behave however they want.

I have no art to show you because I lost my tablet pen. >| It troubles me.

The other thing that troubles me is people in happy relationships/having happy relationships to look forward to. To quote Rachel, ♥hope.

city on fire

2008-01-30T22:37:00.000-08:00

urghk, I feel like blargh today. I'm so eloquent. But yah, I like.... relapsed with the issues I was having awhile back, where I was just depressed all the time. Letting stuff get me down when I have it relatively well off, and things could get so much worse but they're NOT right now. Expecting the impossible and all that.

So I thought I should remind myself that this weekend was AWESOME. I went to Stockton and visited my nieces and nephews, and my and Kelly an Nikki went to see Sweeney Todd in theaters. We were like the only ones in the theater so we talked through the whole thing, but still enjoyed it. Best movie I've ever seen.

It's men devouring men, my dear,
and who are we to deny it in here?
-Little Priest on the Sweeney Todd soundtrack

Anyways, it was one of the best weekends I'd ever had... but I'm worried I won't be able to be that happy again for a long time, or even ever. See, I'm way negative today. I need to chill. x_x

What's the katter with misses?

2008-01-30T00:09:00.000-08:00

Drabble poetry dump 8D

Landscapes
Lurid landscapes plague my mind
And haunt my habitual dreaming
Teary eyed blurred lights for nights
And brooding oil tanks scheming
Electrical towers infinitely incline
over hills where windmills whisper
Moonlight cast through windows where
I should have stayed and kissed her.

Every Day
I pray every day is exactly the way
You wish it would turn out to be
I wish every weekend to see you
I wish every day you could see
That I wish every day would go your way
So you’d be more happy with me.

Every Day 2
I want to be the one to say
I love you, every single day
To be there when you fall asleep
And still there when you wake
When you’re lonely, when you love me
And even when you walk away
I want to be the one to say
I love you, every single day.

Should Have
I should have tightly held your hand
And never let it go
I should have kissed your auburn hair
Beside you in the snow
I should have drawn up close to you
And memorized your smell
I should have called you every day
And asked if you were well
I should have loved you fiercely
When you had gone away
I should have held you close to me
So I’d be holding you today.

WULRUS

2008-01-23T21:50:00.000-08:00

ARIGHT I DREW A WULRUS.

Some kid in my art class pulled out an animal encyclopedia while the teacher was talking and started copying a walrus, so I just had to TOP HIS ASS. >| Lol...

Oh and Nikki is having a bad day so send mental luvins' to her~<3 She started a blog but ahhh can't remember the url. ;o; I'll link to it when I ask her...

omg sick.

2008-01-16T12:41:00.000-08:00

I like, have a cold or something... at first it was just headache and coughing, but today my allergies kicked up and I've been sneezing non-stop. Also, being sick makes my asthma go nuts soooo I've been wheezing a lot.

I went to the doctor today and they gave my a physical while I was there. I had to fill out a questionare about things like whether I wore a seatbelt and I'm a lesbian. So the appointment went basically like, "Check your breasts for lumps once a month, and are you interested in a lesbian support group? Oh, you're wheezing. Are you sure you're not interested in that lesbian support group?"

Man though, the wheezing and sneezing and coughing tore up my throat and strained my neck and chest muscles. Now if I move, or sneeze, or cough, or even breath to heavily, my whole shoulder-y area explodes into pain. And my voice sounds weird. And I have two speeches tomorrow. >O

*gripe*

Also, Nikki is supposed to come over this Thursday and I'm going to cook for her. I'm supposed to spend this weekend at her house, doing community service with her (it's for her class requirements) and she's nervous and doesn't want to do it alone. I need to get better, NOW.

-o- ................. PROCRASTINATE

2008-01-13T15:52:00.000-08:00

Should be going a six page book report on Lolita right now. .... clearly I'm not.

Here's a retarded drawing.

Let It Stay

2008-01-09T21:17:00.000-08:00

Hey, hey, let it stay
Let it chase the blues away
Butterfly shaped hearts
Are everybody’s favorite parts
Hey, hey, yesterday
I guess I somehow lost my way
Men who think little boys
Are nothing but pretty toys
they play all day long
And they know this song
When your ten you’re golden
At twenty one, you’re no fun
Hey, hey, boys in the sun
One plus one plus one
Remember that place
To go on rainy days
Hey, hey, let it stay
Let it chase the blues away.

!!IMPORTANT!! My friend Taylor(Antinon) wrote the most beautiful thing in the history of ever. It's an inpirational jounral, and EVERYONE, I mean EVERYONE, should read it.

Also... another poem, sorry. It sounds like it's about one person, but it's two girls I know, actually. They're not very similar, but I love them both a lot. Thinking about summer, I'm sometimes reminded of them, in a that's mostly a feeling and not a thought. It's so tender that it aches. I always try to put it into words.... I think this is my closest attempt.

Summer
I want to lift the smell of summer from your skin
And braid it like ribbons in my hair
Walk barefoot with you, step for step
Over brown, sun warmed lawns
Breath full of spearmint, laugher and heat
Shadow dappled shoulders and sneakers on the stoop
Cars that soak up the afternoon
Your pale legs stick to the leather seat,
Belts that bite your baby folds, boy knees knocking
You doze to the drone of ebbing traffic
The Saturday sun dies in the west
You dream of the softly fallen feet on concrete
The whispering of children
And clotheslines
My darling in the dark

Btw, I have to memorize THIS and recite it for school. D: >

Don't eat the daisies, baby! <3

2008-01-08T23:02:00.000-08:00

My mom got me hooked on this song, by Doris Day. x3

For something completely random, here's a silly game show in which pretty azn men play a game created solely as an excuse for teh gayz. (PART TWO PART TWO)

Yah, I know. I bring you such quality entertainment. :<

Belated New Years Resolutions

2008-01-08T00:08:00.001-08:00

Alright! Better late than never. I've worked out my New Years Resolutions.

The concrete:
DRAW MORE.
Get a job.
Hold aforementioned job.
Learn to drive.
Stop slouching.
Better personal hygiene.

The abstract:
Love people more.
Don't obsess.
DO more, THINK less.
Better self-confidence.
Stop playing that mind game.... that one where I give vague hints towards things and get angry when the hapless victim doesn't notice them.

Also, here are some things I drew today.

Hollywood Undead

2008-01-07T06:50:00.000-08:00

And people say you dye your hair and wear tight jeans, that doesn't mean that you can't scream, or like loud noise, you got a choice, you have a voice.
-Knife called Lust by Hollywood Undead

But, oh man. School today, but I'm ridiculously pleased. Like this ball of ectoplasmic love right here.

He keeps cropping up in my MS Paint scribbles. I call him creepycat. I think he's symbolic but he might just be fun to draw. 8D

Irrelevant thought

2008-01-04T20:22:00.000-08:00

I was thinking today. *SHOCKING*

It's so anti-productive to recruit dumb people for a cause. Convincing dumb people that your way is right is foolish because th person can lower the idea in three ways. a) They explain the issue to people in an uneducated way- IE, "I'm an animal rights activist, because otherwise people will step on puppies, and stuff." b) They will not spin the issue with enough positivity- IE "I support the troops because even if a bunch of people die, they died for a good cause." or c) They will lower it simply by being dumb. People won't respect them, and when they find out the person is a supporter of a certain cause, they wont respect the cause either.

Also, I support the telling of half-truths to children, including religion. Parents allow children to think that war is all about glory and freedom and that sex is all about love, so I see no reason that children shouldn't be taught that religion is all about love and heaven. It's not TRUE, but in every aspect of life, things are toned down for kids. I don't see why religion should be any different, but I've heard people say otherwise, so I thought I should throw that out there.

This is all irrelevant to me and my life. :3

2007-12-30T17:29:00.000-08:00

A message to a girl in New Jersey- 5'6, with tan skin and hair dyed black, skinny, with "ugly" brown eyes, a dark mind, and a flair for art- this is to you. You are making the same mistake I did. You are missing out on a great thing, and it's a chance you won't get back. Maybe you'll never miss it, but I hope you do. You damn well deserve it.

In other news, I LOVE MAH POKEMANZZZ!!! LET ME SHOW UTHEM. It's me and Nikki's Gastlys, Toliver and Giro. 8D Giro is Nikki's and he's the lighter one.

Take me baby, or leave me~<3

2007-12-27T14:11:00.000-08:00

Man, I LOVE this song. Even though I don't like Rent.... this song is so cute, but the end makes me mad every time. X'D I love how everyone stares like oAo and follows them around the rooms, it was an almost realistic response to people breaking into song, unlike in most musical scenes.

Finally!

2007-12-19T20:20:00.000-08:00

I finally finished the picture for my little nieces! Allybug is the yellow pup, Nikki is the white wolf, I'm the brown spotty one and Megan is the husky wolf. <3 There are a lot of things I don't like about this picture, but it took a LONG TIME, so it's alright.

I also finished Creepy!Axel for Nikki today. maybe take pics later. (I ate too much dinner, I'm so fat that I can't even work up the energy for complete sentences)

I hate guessing games. I hate Nikki's crushes. I hate the fact that I HATE everything.

I LOVE Say Anything. 8D

Rendezvous

2007-12-17T23:00:00.000-08:00

and I'm through with you. 8D Looove that song.

Um, um, OH YAH. This is for a trade with someone on deviantart. It's her mate's fursona, Noir.

I'm taking a break from YIM and MSN messangers this week, trying to catch up with real friends and finish x-mas gifts, etc... Also, I feel like I've run out of stuff to say. X'D It's really irritating.

That is why

2007-12-16T21:45:00.000-08:00

"That is why you'll never, ever, in a goddamn millennium, be my giiiiiiiirl." I love that song.... That Is Why, by Say Anything. I'm in love with that band right now. 8D

This is my character Babylon. <3 He's a mecha.
This is YOWIE.

This is a picture of me and Nikki, photoshopped like whoah.

8D; Hallo

2007-12-13T18:13:00.000-08:00

Sorry for my emo-ing yesterday... erm, I'm hormonal. But anyways, Selah is coming to live with us for awhile.... I would be like "o noes celibacy" But I'm already celibate. LOL.

but they never seem to last

2007-12-12T23:00:00.000-08:00

Missed the Boat by Modest Mouse

While we're on the subject
Could we change the subject now?
I was knocking on your ears
Don't worry, you were always out
Looking towards the future
We were begging for the past
Well we knew we had the good things
But those never seemed to last
Oh please just last

Lately, I don't care about the future. I don't care if today turns into tomorrow, I don't care if the world turns into dust. All I think about/wish for/want is the past. Sorry for the emo drivel, I feel AWFUL right now. DX

Unfair

2007-12-10T20:45:00.000-08:00

Have you ever noticed, the world is a really shitty, unfair place? I have. I almost wish fate would crap all over me, cos I deserve it more than the people who DO get the short end of the shit. Anywayssss, drew some stuff.

Unmotivated

2007-12-09T11:44:00.000-08:00

Don't you hate those days where you just don't want to do anything? Blech. I have a headache and an inferiority complex, and I'm dreading talking to the Jehovah's Witnesses because I'm cranky and don't know where my bible is. I feel like I should draw or fill out job applications but I can't bring myself to it, so I'm just rocking out loudly to Say Anything and Drop Dead, Gorgeous. XD

I'm full of spite and uselessness. DX Probably, I need to be kicked.

I saw the Golden Compass yesterday~! It was pretty good, but of course the end was unsatisfying, since it's a trilogy. I lvoed the bear. BUT OMG OMG OMG. OMG. The bets part was when I was watching the trailers because they had a preview for an INKHEART MOVIE! I made a big scene over it and my friends told me to stfu. XD Do want.........

More arts 8D

2007-12-07T00:29:00.000-08:00

My life is boring right now.... hum, let's see..... still being goaded into getting a job. Hate applications. Also, Curtis is still harassing me. Well, he just wants to date me, but I'm like, "no. DX" He wants to know where I hang out at lunch now. Gahh. In his ignorance, he had the nerve to draw checkers on a note to me. He sees me draw checkers all the time, but I am a deep well, and he stepped the bit w/ sharks in it. >O

here's some drawings. LARXNIX?? Hah, it's Nikki's Organization OC Colenix and Larxene. And the other one is my new Deviantart ID.

Lots of furry art

2007-12-02T23:00:00.000-08:00

Finished the other two character sheets for my nieces. The top on is Allison's, the next on it Megan's. At the bottom there is a request for Dai (he's the tiger) and his friend J.

Am I nuts?

2007-12-01T18:07:00.000-08:00

So, what do you think... am I nuts? Earlier, Nikki was telling me that she thinks I have Anxiety Disorder. Sometimes, people walking near my room or the front door opening stresses me out really bad, and the phone ringing sometimes even makes me hyperventilate. I told my mom and SHE thinks I have depression, and that I freak out because I want to be isolated. I don't think I do want to be isolated though. My mom suggested, I donno, mental help or something. As if I would ever let me mind would ever become an open forum for administrating. DX That's worse than that of people messing with my computer.

I want to get a job (No I don't, not a bit. I want people to stop bugging me to get a job. I want to not have to get a job) and if I had a job I would do it without complaint. But I have an unnatural dread of job applications, interviews, and going to places in search of jobs. Anyways, my mom says that she'll make sure I get to see Niki this week only if I go look for jobs as well, which is ironic. When my paranoia and panic attacks get bad I think of bad scenarios all the time, and one of the ones I thought up earlier were my folks saying "If you don't find a job in one week, you're grounded from seeing Nikki for a year." I know they aren't very similar, but for some reason it freaked me out really bad. (as if that means anything XD)

NEWAYS. When my nieces and I were little, we played wolves all the time (and sometimes still do, actually) so for x-mas, I'm going character sheets of wolves for them. This one is Megan's wolf, Ally's is coming next. I might do a character sheet for Nikki's wolf as well, although she just looks like an older version of her fursona. If I'm really ambitious I'll draw my wolf, who looks like a wolf version of my fursona.

Secret Lover

2007-11-27T00:30:00.000-08:00

I was having a conversation with Dawt and she said something amusing, which led to me writing this. :3

I have a secret lover
We share a sordid love affair
Our love is such a secret
That even she is unaware.

EPIDEMIC

2007-11-24T16:45:00.000-08:00

For those who know me, you probably know that I've been I started an Osmosis Jones fanclub of viruses awhile back. (How nerdy do I sound?) The club grew out of reasonable proportions and lots of characters and fanart came forth.... I made a slideshow out of some of it. 8D I'm lazy and don't want to do full credits here, but all the artists are on the member list HERE. The song is Let's Do It by Alanis Morisette.

My character is Sin, the orange guy who ends up with... wow, a lot of them. Thrax, Leon, Hasta, Hazz... X_X;

Also, I drew some lions. ^_^ Go me! Actually drawing! The first lion is Hazuo and he isn;t my character, I should credit but I'm too lazy to find the url. -_-;; The second one is Simba.

300 Trailers

2007-11-22T14:31:00.000-08:00

Lol, who DRAWS anymore? X_X;; Instead, I've been watching Youtube videos and playing DockingStation/Creatures 3. I digress, I wanted to post these, because they're super cool. In a dorky way. x'3 There are by two of my favorite youtube users, Newborn and GrumpyGrim. it's the sound files of 300 trailers applied to clips from Bambi and Lion King.

ALSO. Go vote at this site, for your favorite Doctor Who pairing. I've noticed that the top 1 is usually pretty random. jack/Algy? Why? But don't vote before you watch THIS VIDEO, a Doctor Who short written by my current favorite DW writer, Steven Moffat. I didn't think the video was out yet, but THIS AWESOME DUDE posted it on his blog. it totally made my day. ^_^

Frustrated!

2007-11-18T20:56:00.000-08:00

I'm frustrated lately because, I'm trying to get a job. (half-heartedly, with my mom pushing me every step of the way, but still trying) The biggest problem is not having the motivation. The second biggest problem is that when I get a job, I know I won't have hardly any time to myself between work and school, so I won't be able to talk to my online peeps much.

Have you ever had to leave a friend's house or come home from a vacation, and the pressure to do something interesting is so great, that you suddenly can't think of ANYTHING to do? That's my problem. I can't think of anything to say to my online friends.

Nikki is coming over on Tuesday though. <3

I talked to the Jehovah's Witnesses today- finally know the one's name, the one who's almost always there. XD; I could never remember! Her name is Devona. Our sessions are longer now, and I actually sit int he car w/ them to talk. They're bringing me their version of the bible next week so mine will read the same as theirs. I'm worried that some day they'll realize I'm not religion material and drop me like a hot potato.

A Song

2007-11-17T09:19:00.000-08:00

One of my oldest internet friends, Martha (or Antinon as the MCR groups know her) recorded a demo of a song... HERE. It's an alteration of the You are my Sunshine song, and the lyrics are HERE. Oh, geez, I practically died. That song... means a lot to me. @_@ And Martha, geeez, I adore her. <3

I forced Nikki to tell me I'm pretty today. I was quite ashamed but she never SAYS it... I hate women. I am such a woman. DX

If I've been a bit neurotic

2007-11-13T00:15:00.001-08:00

Sorry I've been a bit nervy and neurotic... It was that final desperate clawing I do when I give something up. It was the end of a stage and now I'm in another, but I don't have any definitive goal for it.

What should I be DOING? My urge is to be better than Nikki. I need a boyfriend before she gets one, I need a job YESTERDAY, and I need to learn how to put on eyeliner without taking my eye out. Is that too broad? Should I start with- appearance. Nice clothes, new hair, eyebrow wax? (the latter, as per my mom's suggestion. XD; I was never even self conscious about that before...) Which would help me get a job, which would make me mature enough to know what to do with a boyfriend...

Yes. That's my goal- not looking like a slob. One step at a time. :3

If you wondered what I've been DRAWING, a topic that's far more interesting... GARBAGE. Kingdom Hearts garbage, trying to have enthusiasm for something I'm only vaguely enthusiastic about. I might actually do a bunch more, just to finish something I started for once. It's a challenge to myself. There are Myspace bulletins about how to treat your girlfriend, so I took a bunch of those from lists and I'm doing a picture a day for each one. Here are the ones I've done so far. Some of these suck, some I'm kind of fond of. :3 Most yaoi heavy post you have ever seen. @_@

• stay on the phone with her even if shes not saying anything. [Axel/Roxas]

• kiss her in front of your friends. [Marly/Vexen]

• DON'T FORCE HER TO DO ANYTHING. [Axel/Roxas]

• stay up all night with her when she's sick. [Luxord/Reno]

• When she bumps into you, bump her back and make her laugh. [Riku/Sora]

MONEYS???

2007-11-11T19:05:00.000-08:00

XMAS MONEYS. I NEED THAT. UM. THIS MUCH. *thinks* $12.95+ $12.95+taxes....30 dollars should be a safe bet. And then additional moneys to bribe Monica into Borders.... lol

Dolores Haze, my car is limping

2007-11-11T14:01:00.001-08:00

I once typed out the entire Lolita poem, word for word, exact punctuation, INCLUDING the French verse. Because it was one of the best poems ever. Love the rhyme scheme, the first verse and last verse... the poem was ten times better than the actual book. I have to do a book report on it (well, on some 12th grade reading level book... Josh is already doing Clockwork Orange and I can't stomach another go at the Vampire Chronicles) so I should it would be fitting to post it now. :3 I wish my poems were all as good as this.

Poem from Lolita
© Vladimir Nobokov

Wanted, wanted: Dolores Haze.
Hair: brown. Lips: scarlet.
Age: five thousand three hundred days.
Proffesion: none, or "starlet".

Where are you hiding, Dolores Haze?
Why are you hiding, darling?
(I talk in a daze, I walk in a maze,
I cannot get out, said the starling).

Where are you riding, Dolores Haze?
What make is the magic carpet?
Is a Cream Cougar the present craze?
And where are you parked, my car pet?

Who is your hero, Dolores Haze?
Still one of those blue-caped star-men?
Oh the balmy days and the palmy bays,
And the cars, and the bars, my Carmen!

Oh Dolores, that juke-box hurts!
Are you still dancin', Darlin'?
(Both in worn levis, both in torn t-shirts,
And I, in my corner, snarlin').

Happy, happy is gnarled McFate
Touring the States with a child wife,
Plowing his Molly in every State
Among the protected wild life.

My Dolly, my folly! Her eyes were vair,
And never closed when I kissed her.
Know an old perfume called Soleil Vert?
Are you from Paris, mister?

L'autre soir un air froid d'opera m'alita:
Son fele-bien fol est qui s'y fie!
Il neige, le decor s'ecroule, Lolita!
Lolita, qu'ai-je fait de ta vie?

Dying, dying, Lolita Haze,
Of hate and remorse, I'm dying.
And again my hairy fist I raise,
And again I hear you crying.

Officer, officer, there they go-
In the rain, where that lighted store is!
And her socks are white, and I love her so,
And her name is Haze, Dolores.

Officer, officer, there they are-
Dolores Haze and her lover!
Whip out your gun and follow that car,
Now tumble out, and take cover.

Wanted, wanted: Dolores Haze.
Her dream-gray gaze never flinches.
Ninety pounds is all she weighs
With a height of sixty inches.

My car is limping, Dolores Haze,
And the last long lap is the hardest,
And I shall be dumped where the weed decays,
And the rest is rust and stardust.

NOTE ABOUT ME! Nikki came over this weekend. :3 She was tired from a sleepover the night before, but we had fun anyways. Mostly we laid around and talked about fanstuff.

staff infection

2007-11-08T19:04:00.000-08:00

So, it's rumored that a couple kids at my school have staff infections... Mr. Oropollo is going to confront them after school and force them to get checked out, and that if they find it, they're quarantining the school. I don't know if it's true yet.

Overnight, I found a drawing style that I'm comfortable with. I drew armloads of yaoi before drawing anything else, so I have nothing scanned and completed yet. I'll post something new ASAP.

My momma bought me a hoody. *hugs it* I'm happyhappy~<3

Sober by TOOL
I will find a center in you
I will chew it up and leave
TRUST ME

PS. I'm having rediculous mood swings today. I went from sobbing to being cheerful to being suicidally, wall writing pissed. Cory was nice enough to bring me IB Prouffin (never take pills you can spell the name of!!) at school today but I think I REALLY need head pills.

My symbolism-
Checkers=everything
Ana= Nikki
Lolita=Rachel
Hoodylove=Teenage love
Contact sport= the way you can only know if you're in love with physical contact
pink and brown=me
blue and white-my mom
my shirt w/ four colored boxes=my default outfit
stars=wishes
stars on strings=Billy Brown by Mika
many songs=pairings
that panther I draw=torrent
that dog I draw=me
that white wolf thing I draw=Nikki

I;m sure there are more but I forget. :3

Let's Fall in Love

2007-11-07T21:37:00.000-08:00

I cannot get enough of this song! I had to seek out the music video. The background sounds are a little annoying to me, but the video is pretty cute, so here it is.

Hum... I drew a character sheet for Loor! One of my oldest and favorite lion characters- this is anime style, which I'm not good at, so forgive if it's not great.

My mom told me I should put my x-mas wishlist here... so, here it is. I was a Gameboy DS and Pokemon Diamond, possibly a deviantart subscription, and a hoody. (specifics I haven't decided yet... cant find a decent NIN one and the I dont like the MSI ones either)

Today I did some stuff.

2007-11-06T23:26:00.001-08:00

Today I woke up- I got ready and went to school.
School was long.
I wrote a bad story for the yearbook.
I went home and brought chips and salsa to Monica's house.
My friends and I ate it all.
I came home and talked to Nikki and Tafolla online.
Me and Rachel watched Dane Cook videos.
I was happy that The Mist is going to be a movie.
I spent four hours writing a 1700 word Kingdom Hearts story.
In it, some stuff happens and Demyx is a nut.
All my fanfictions make the characters OCD and gay.
I sent it to Nikki, she was confused by it.
Maybe she liked it but probably not.
I argued with Dawt and said something mean, and apologized.
I still hate Dawt.
I wrote a rejection letter to a freshman.
I did the dishes and considered dieting.
My dog was sleeping on my scale so I ate corned beef hash instead.
Then I wrote this entry. C:

Homework

2007-11-06T07:37:00.000-08:00

Again using this Blog to upload schoolwork, I'll delete it later.

Literary Terms
Carmen Aistrup

1. “One of them- her name was Sam- asked what I was going to do when I got home. The question embarrassed me. I was so embarrassed, I think she felt bad.
She made a few jokes and I laughed harder then I should have, and she went off to the next guy.
I remembered sitting in the counselors office on my second week of high school. (etc etc)”

This is an example of a flashback. Because Perry was asked by the nurse what he was going to do for a career, he was reminded of a similar experience in his second week of high school. His counselor had asked something similar, and when Perry had told her that he wanted to be a philosopher, she had laughed at him. Richie was hurt and embarrassed by this, so the same feelings were recalled when the nurse asked about what he was going to do back in the world. The theme of this would be best accounted to PTSD, because although it’s not war related trauma, he was emotionally affected by something in his childhood and it effected him in his later life.

2. “Shock. Pain. Nobody wanted to look at anybody else. Nobody wanted to talk. There was nothing to say. Lieutenant Carroll’s death was close. It hung around our shoulders and filled the space in between us. Lieutenant Carroll had sat with us, had been afraid with us, had worried about us. Now he was dead.”

This is an example of the tone of the story. The writer talks about the death of a soldier and the way the other men in his squad react to it. Rather than glorifying death in battle, like some writers do, this writer takes a grim view of Lieutenant Carroll’s death on the battlefield. Instead of with bias, he narrated the truth about what it’s like after a death of a squad-mate. In this way, his tone is one of grim realism. The theme of this passage is The Unromantic Reality of War. (give me a break, I lost my paper and I got the themes of Sparknotes. But it works, right?)

3. “I heard the rounds buzzing and whining around my head like angry bees.”

This is an example of an onomatopoeia. The word buzz makes a “zzzzzzzzzz” sounds, a steady hum, just like the sound it describes. The word “whine” is also an onomatopoeia. It has a nasally tone, because the long I sound is being projected from the nose. The word whine implies a nasally, grating tone. The theme of this passage is probably also the Grim Reality of War.

4. “We got back, and they had laid the body out on the ground. The arms were out, and the legs were crossed at the ankles. I walked by him. He wasn’t any bigger than Kenny.” (page 80)

This is an example of metaphor. When Perry is walking past the dead Vietcong, he should have thought that it was just a trophy- but instead he noticed how small and human the VC was, and that he was the same size as his brother Kenny. In this was he’s relating to the enemy, something that soldiers in a battle are conditioned not to do. The metaphor is that he compared the VC to Kenny, although he not. The theme of this quote is the moral ambiguity of war, shown in the way they treat the body and the way Perry emotionally reacts to it.

5. “You pray a lot in the World?” I asked him
“Yeah, I prayed a lot,” Brew said. “But, man, I didn’t pray nowhere near as hard.” (page 106)

This is an example of characterization. Brew and Perry are talking about God, and praying, and Perry asked whether Brew used to play, to which he replies, “Yeah, I prayed a lot, but not nearly as hard.” This shows that although Brew was a bit religious back in the World, in Vietnam, fear for his life makes him pray fervently more frequently. This could mean he really believes in God and is trying to reconcile so He lets Brew live, or it could mean that he doesn’t believe but he’s not taking the chance. It also says something about Perry- most of Perry’s role in the book is quiet, except when asking questions or answering questions. The theme of this passage is Faith.

Tool

2007-11-05T18:55:00.000-08:00

SOBER by Tool
I am just a worthless liar
I am just an imbecile
I will only complicate you
Trust in me and fall as well
I will find a centre in you
I will chew it up and leave
I will work to elevate you
Just enough to bring you down.

Good weekend ♥

2007-11-04T20:57:00.001-08:00

I had an awesome weekend. I spent the whole thing at Nikki's house, and I wore her cozy sweater the whole time, and we played Kingdom Hearts and nerded about it. Then we watched Surf's Up, that weird new penguin movie, and continued to nerd about Kingdom Hearts. Then I started my period and cried. BUT. It was still a great weekend and I was only crying cos it had to end. ALSO, I finally beat Nikki's little sister, Megan, at a wolf battle. (we pretend to be wolves and wrestle. x3) She's only 12 but she whoops me every time, cos I'm weak.

HALLOWEEN

2007-10-31T17:08:00.001-07:00

I don't have pictures yet, but I'm THIS FRANKENGIRL IN FRONT for halloween. :3 My hair is different though, and I don't have that shirt... but it's okay because nobody seems to know that band. Except CHAD O'BRIAN, a childhood friend of mine, had a neat MSI shirt today. <3

I drew puppy kittens. *DORK*

I need to draw something halloween related. >O ....... I'm going Trick or Treating with Kimmie and Rachel for the last time. *sniff* Why am I so old?? I have to get a damn job soon.... or I swear my dad is gonna kick me out... x'3 I need money anyways.

This blog entry is really all over the place, sorry. Guess what's in the production stages right now? SIMS 3! I read Notes from the the presentation. The social consciousness seems interesting, career planning seems pointless, and the likes and dislikes seem limited and largely uninteresting.... but we'll see in 2009.

Style Inconsistencies

2007-10-24T23:14:00.001-07:00

I drew two of the most unrelated pictures, EVER, today. The first if for the Illustration Friday challenge- Grow.

And for a complete change of topic and style, PYRAMID HEAD. He has so many fangirls, I feel guilty for being one of the crowd... but who can resist his awesome gross/creepiness?? The quote is completely unrelated to Silent Hill, but works beautifully. Kudos if, by some flying guess, someone knows where the quote is from.

Both suck, but my excuse is crippling artist's block.

KATAMARI

2007-10-23T22:52:00.000-07:00

Best. Game. Ever.

Practicepractice foams

2007-10-22T19:22:00.000-07:00

I'm trying to practice art-ing. >_> I have nothing productive to show for this. So I'm scanning practice pages full of, well, practice. I know a lot of this is crap, especially the gesture sheet. (the one with a lot of people sitting down, are kids in my class, drawn in 20 seconds or less.)

AIR GEAR

2007-10-21T15:40:00.000-07:00

SJFHSJKHFKJSHDKJIJUFIOUEL??
Air Gear is just a cool anime. Too lazy for a real post, here's fanart I did for Air Gear. It's AKITO. *sucker fishes* Sorry it's seizure inducingly bright.

Small One

2007-10-20T11:13:00.001-07:00

Yesterday I watched an under-appreciated animated short called Small One. It's an early Walt Disney feature directed by Don Bluth. You can watch it one Stage6 HERE. It's a sweet story about a boy who has to sell his small, old donkey because his family can't afford to keep it anymore. At the end, it turns out... well, you'll just have to watch it to find out. C:

Also, THIS looks promising. :3

Last of all, I took the final step into being a huge prick. I made a how to draw. *gasp* It's absolute crap but I told my mom about it so now I gotta post it. x'D

A bit of art

2007-10-16T18:25:00.000-07:00

Got some animal art. Bagheera, who doesn't look much like Bagheera (from Disney's Jungle Book) and Axel and Roxas as giraffes. Oh, and me and Ashton's fursonas. >3<;; We're still not going out or anything. Honest.

Sh'yeah...

Myth: If you don't act your age before your birthday, your birthday wont come.
Truth: If you misbehave TOO badly, your parents will be too pissed off to throw you a birthday party.

Also, NaNoWriMo is getting ready to start up... Donno if I'll do it or now.

Gentlemen

2007-10-10T19:06:00.000-07:00

There are no gentlemen left in the world~ (there was a broken heart here that wouldn't show up. Is that symbolic?)

On another note, this picture took forever. @_@

Tekno Love Song by CocoRosie
I fell in love with a bad bad man
Every since I met him
I've been sad sad sad
I'm a jailbird to your music
A criminal in your prayer
I watch you when you sleep
Even when you're not there
Rainbows wept color all over the streets
When you went away
maybe one day we'll meet

Dog World

2007-10-06T20:20:00.000-07:00

I've decided that it's worth going through with- or at least proposing- an idea I've had for a long time. I'd always thought of it as "the dog zoo" but it gives people the wrong idea.

When everyone was a kid, they loved dogs. Don't you all remember how much you loved dogs? If someone told you they were taking you to a dog show, the dog park, or even the pound, it was a big deal. I remember also that as a kid I always wanted to go to the zoo, but was disappointed that I couldn't touch the animals. I thought, I wish there were a place with all breeds of dogs, and I could play with them too.

Well, that's what I want to create.

It's a place that you pay to get in, like a theme park or zoo, and is largely considered to be for kids. Like the title says- it's Dog World. Immediately through the gates is a large courtyard leading off to several indoor areas. My mom says it should look old fashioned street- like Lady and Tramp. Some of my ideas for the buildings are; a puppy house, a parlor for older dogs, a toy group section, a theater for lectures about different dog related things, and a gift shop. The "houses" are two stories, on the second stories are party rooms for birthdays and staff offices.

One can leave through the back of the houses and get into a bigger, outdoor portion of the park. The areas outdoors are divided up for different kind of dogs, and subsequently different people. Some young kids would be afraid of large dogs, so there would be a separate area for large dogs. Another area for "wolf-like dogs" because that's always been something I wanted, and other areas once I think of them...

My mom suggested a lake/pond/pool section where the kids can play in the water with retrievers and other water dogs. I think that's my favorite idea so far. Around the back would be kennels where the dogs sleep. So that the dogs outdoors and indoors don't get too tired and cranky, the dogs would be switched out periodically.

I really feel like it's an idea that could work, and would be something worthwhile to do with a lifetime... I just hope I have the dedication to make it happen someday.

Art Story

2007-10-05T07:21:00.000-07:00

My art story for yearbook- posting this so I can print it out at school. @_@

“When I was in fourth grade, all my art looked like Egyptian drawings. Their heads all faced sideways and their bodies faced forward,” said Junior Sara Reinking. Since then, she’s learned the basic principles of drawing through practice and from school, and the difference shows in her art. Like Reinking, many artists at Mesa Verde started drawing at a young age. Senior Moses Terrazas has been drawing since he could hold a pencil. When was young, he drew characters from cartoons he watched, like Hey Arnold and Doug. Art isn’t just for kids, though- both Terrazas and Reinking desire a career in art someday. Their first step is college, but Terrazas says, “I was pissed off when I found out that most art colleges were private, so scholarships don’t apply.” Even if he does find a public art school, he is still deciding what he wants to major in. He wants to inspire people with his art, so any career that puts his work in the public eye is fine with him. He’s not alone in his pursuit- through the art club and gallery, many Mesa Verde artists like Terrazas and Reinking are working hard to get their art recognized.

Faggotry

2007-10-04T21:45:00.000-07:00

Nikki was like, "lol, synchronized homosexuals."

Sorry I have nothing to post aside from bizarre music videos I find on youtube. XD I've been spending a lot of time on MSN, talking to Hasta, Nikki and Torrent(♥!) and less time drawing.

Gray and gray and gray

2007-10-01T23:23:00.001-07:00

I finally drew and finished a picture. :3 Two of the Epidemic (personified diseases) showing off their pregnant bellies at a baby shower.

Lyrics to A Calender Hung Itself
Bright Eyes

And it rose like thunder, clapped under our hands.
And it stretched for centuries to a diary entry’s end
where I wrote,
You make me happy
oh when skies are gray.
You make me happy oh when skies are gray, and gray, and gray.

(it's.a.bit.like.gravity)

Ho hum, the average

2007-09-24T23:27:00.000-07:00

Today we watched a war movie in English and I was unhappy cos I hate war movies. In Yearbook, Mrs. Claus yelled at me about not working even though I've done more in that class than Sara has, and I finished two layouts today. She was getting in a huff because I wasn't doing them on the computer, which don't know how to do and in any case, all the computers were being used. Well, anyways, Sara taught me how to make paper claws.

I wore one on the index finger of my left and felt very secretly nerdy and pleased. <3

Okay art now. I haven't been drawing much lately but these are the ones I'm pleased with. In order, there's Sin babysitting what some of the other virus's babies would look like, I request from a girl who wanted a pic of her and her gf, and the personification of a cleaning cell in Orbitz Gum.

The Revolution

2007-09-15T19:11:00.000-07:00

I was too tired to reach my window the other night so I could wish on stars, so I wished on angels instead, and promised them a poem in return.

This is that poem. It's about the angels wanting to overthrow God, and God gives them a test. The beginning isn't great, but I think it gets better as it goes along, so bear with it.

If every angel’s terrible, why do you welcome them?
To carry you to heaven or atone for your sins
To wish on when the stars have left on vacation
Guidance from those who sat in on creation
The middle men in God’s holy kingdom
Serving him without pay, freedom or reason
Do they ever get tired of the everyday grind?
The tedium of heaven, hell and mankind
From the corporate ladder, many have fell
Just go ask poor Lucifer, stewing in hell
God has the monopoly on heavenly power
But under his thumb, the angels turned sour
One day they confronted the Lord on his throne
God! They cried out, look what you have done!
The planet is dying and the people are evil
Nations are wrenched by death, wars and upheaval
And although we could save your favorite creatures
You leave all the saving to the mere earthly preachers
This is a mutiny, we’ll take jurisdiction
To cure earth of every ache and affliction
God simply sat and heard each of them out
Than said, I don’t know what this fuss is about
Every human affliction is caused by mankind
Caused by Adam and Eve at the dawning of time
The angels protested, that was so long ago!
And so many humans don’t even know
We have you outnumbered so please give it up
Or thousands of angels will have to get rough
So God said, Okay, but first let me see
Why you angels think that you’re better than me
I’m making a galaxy for you to design
Every rock, ocean and creature is yours to define
And whoever’s planet I deem is the best
will take the weight of the world off my chest
With this decree the angels were delighted
They began work at once, fresh and excited
For so long they’ve waited to create something new
A dream and a meaning for them to pursue
They worked many long years to prove their worth
And meanwhile, completely forgot about earth
But God didn’t forget and he did not forsake
His heart still wept for each human mistake
Every night he still hung the moon in the sky
And dragged ‘round the sun as the days went by
He watered the world with each coming spring
Watching the showers revive everything
But when people died, no angels did wait
To come and escort them to God’s grand estate
No angels replaced the vanishing stars
Granting wishes for wellness or shiny new cars
No longer concerned for the people below
No sign of the mercy they’d claimed to bestow
Till one day their creations were finally done
Some labors were lost and some others were won
The finalists smiled and wound up the clocks
Unclasped and unfastened each Pandora’s box
Put the final strokes on each sunset and sighed
And waited with confidence for God to decide
For each thought their own was surely the best
And that God would be deeply, greatly impressed.
First Gabriel was called to show off his work
He uncovered his planet and said with a smirk-
My world is lovely, tranquil and pristine
And I’ve decided to call my world Crystalene
For the mountains are diamonds rather than clay
And the sky’s filled with rainbows every day
The flowers are candy, the rivers are gold
The creatures are quite a sight to behold
Birds of paradise and sweet butterflies
Tigers with feathers and bright bliss blue eyes
The places are set, and soon you will see
What a marvelous, wonderful place it will be.
With a flick of his wrist the world started to spin
And many things began to happen within
Some birds puttered while other birds flew
Tigers peered ‘round with eyes of bliss blue
Rain started falling and rainbows appeared,
And it never stopped raining, year after year
It flowed down the mountains and melted the flowers
Flooded the valleys with relentless showers
It drowned all the creatures for they could not swim
For there was no Noah’s Arc that could rescue them
In no time at all the world was destroyed
And Gabriel was getting really annoyed
He cried, why did this thing happen to me?
My whole world engulfed by the gluttonous sea
But he bowed to the Lord and swallowed his pride
He conceded defeat, stepped politely aside
As Michael stepped forward to started to speak
My world is more practical but still quite unique
As you will all soon see for yourselves
The dominate species are to be called elves
Catlike in manor but human in frame
Clever like angels, restless like flames
They will grow to be better than even mankind
Their culture advanced, their manners refined
So he set it spinning and then he smiled
At his wonderful elves, still young and wild
They learned like humans, only quicker
Wheels turned sooner, fire flickered
Weeks passed and they grew smarter
Learned to garden, bargain and barter
Learned to kill and then to steal
When to stand up and when to kneel
Learned how to gamble, smoke and shoot
Then how to create, destroy and pollute
And when they had burned their entire world out
To turn to their righteous, holy and devout
And to wish on the angels to save them all
As their perfect society began to fall
The stars were hidden behind the shrouds
Of ghastly gray polluted clouds
Soon every elf withered, faded and died
From the havoc they had caused worldwide
Michael bowed and then conceded
That no-one could make a world like He did
The other angels fared mostly the same
And fell beside Gabriel and Michael in shame
When every world have been unveiled
And every angel had tried and failed
God gathered them ‘round and told them
This wasn’t to judge you, nor to condemn
So don’t get discouraged and don’t get upset
Let me teach you a lesson you’ll never forget
Ruling your own way is not what’s essential
It’s doing your job to your fullest potential
You abandoned the people of earth for fame
A shot at glory and heavenly acclaim
They angels felt bad for they knew it was true
In times of temptation, they hadn’t come through
Their righteous claims were insincere
Not important as they’d made it appear
So they gave up the upheaval of their own accord
And settled for being menial, upright, and bored
But every last angel did secretly wait
For the day that they would learn how to create
The secrets of life and of evolution
For a newer, better revolution.

Love all around... or... not...

2007-09-05T22:06:00.000-07:00

Don't love you
By Vienna 9-5-07

I don’t care about your boyfriend
Like you don’t care when I cry
Like the way you say you hate it
When I keep lying and it’s like
the way I burned your pictures
And you threw away the ring
I forgot our favorite places
And all our favorite things
Or the way you used to giggle
Every time we kissed
I used to laugh and giggle back
But I forgot all this
I didn’t keep your t-shirt
The cotton one, it’s blue
I never hold it tightly
Pretending it was you
I would never, ever do that
It’s nothing like before
Cos I swear upon my honor
I don’t love you anymore.

If you walk away, I'll walk away

2007-08-31T20:35:00.000-07:00

This is a good song. It's called Landlocked Blues by Bright Eyes. A lot of my inspiration comes form either Bright Eyes or Cocorosie... quite a few emotions and stories and drawings were spawned while listening to this. When I cant sleep, I sometimes sing it to myself until I can. Just thought I would share it with you.

Many many pictures that I haven't uploaded.... here we go.

My new fursona

Me and my cat, Bob, in the morning

Me and Nikki. C:

Me, Nikki, and my new big kitty, Alexander

Weekend

2007-08-26T19:50:00.000-07:00

As the first weekend of the school year draws to a close, I feel strangely fulfilled. Despite the weekend being devoid of any real life interaction, I did a lot of talking on MSN, which is the messenger I use for my Osmosis Jones fanverse friends. The main people I talked to this weekend were Torrent and Blue (the two guys in the group) and Nikki and Hasta. Of course I talk to Nikki all the time, though...

In any case, it was oddly relaxing. Me and Blue talked about the Epidemic, fight scenes, future rp plot, and the evils of the emo subculture. He makes me feel like one of the guys. C: Torrent and I talked about furries and art and other random stuff... he's my big kitty. <3 Hasta threw several Paris Hilton-like hissy fits and was generally a pill, but I love her anyways. And Nikki, as always, was a doll.

Sometimes we conferenced and sometimes we chatted one on one, but I came away with the feeling like I knew them all better. I wish I had time to do this with all my internet friends. I'm working on a picture of me, Torrent and Nikki chilling on MSN. or should I say Charlie, Alexander and Soda Pop?)

Well, sorry for the pointless update, but I just wanted to share how good and perfect this weekend felt. Well, toodles~ <3

Remember!

2007-08-24T22:41:00.001-07:00

You're only as happy as you want to be.

You're a diamond
she's a ring
never be without
and you'll never be alone
it's not about the money
it's all about the dance

Puppy Saix

2007-08-18T14:58:00.000-07:00

Haha, doing this post just to show off a new drawing that I like. C: A famous deviantart artist decided that Saix acted like puppy in her comics, so I drew Demyx and Saix puppy. I wouldn't usually post it here, cos it's probably considered slash, but I really like the coloring on this one.

EDIT: aforementioned artist commented and favorited the picture, then deviantart watched me. I was more shocked then happy, and then I just felt sad because Nikki was jealous. Oh well... finaly got around to drawing Cino, from the Epidemic (Osmosis Jones fangroup)

Also, Axel and Roxas as lions. And a sea-salt ice cream, which were a big thing in Kingdom Hearts 2, if you never played. I think those would taste terrible. @_@

Good morning America

2007-08-15T12:43:00.000-07:00

I walked home from Selah's house after waking up there, which is maybe a 40 minute walk... I felt like a dog trying to get back to my master. I was so sweaty and sore and tired when I got home. @_@ But it's worth it to be in my own house.

Despite myself, I had fun. And ate too much. Again. We watched The Cat Returns and fangirled over the baron, which was funny since he's a CAT but he's so cool. Selah is writing a fanfiction in which she explains why he used to be a human, but I'm like, Nyeh he's a cat. I think that if the pairing was to work, the girl would go back to the cat kingdom and become a cat in order to be with him.

I had a dream that me and a bunch of people, a lot that I didn't even know, were hanging out on my lawn shortly after school started. There was some guy that Nikki was flirting with and I felt all protective, like, "Don't you lay a finger on her. >.<" He was one of her friends from school, named Drake. We must have some kind of psychic connection because she had dreamed that she was going out with Drake, even though she doesn't really like him that way.

Bored bored bored. No more typing.

Happy AkuRoku day!

2007-08-13T22:59:00.000-07:00

It's a fandom holiday, for the pairing of AxelRoxas. (Kingdom Hearts) It's a sweet pairing, but it pulls my heartstrings too hard, so I don't dig it much... decided to draw them anyways, for the day. Of course managed to make it reflect my own angst.

Also, I drew a couple of my pokemon. C:

Jealousy

2007-08-13T01:24:00.000-07:00

Whenever someone isn't giving me enough attention, I have a bad habit of trying to make them jealous. Believe me, it is HARD to make someone jealous when they don't care. I would dare to say impossible.

Ease over

2007-08-12T12:05:00.000-07:00

Donno what the title's about, but don't you love the way the words roll? I spent the night at Sara's house the other day... I loathe sleeping at other people's houses. I like hanging out with my friends, but when it comes to sleeping, I want to be home. I can't wait until I'm old enough that I don't have to do that anymore. I get home and am magnetically pulled towards my computer. Sometimes I think my computer is just a projection of what's inside me. When I'm feeling or thinking something that I don't have on my hard-drive, I get edgy until I download something relevant or write poetry. The more clever of my friends can tell what's going on with me by digging through my folders. (which does NOT mean I recommend it.)

You know what's strange? When I'm sad, or even think I MIGHT be sad if I don't step carefully, I listen to Marilyn Manson, especially the Golden Age of Grotesque cd, really loudly. Something about the pitch just drowns whatever my problem is. Or, as it may be, my random bad moods. Random moodiness seems to be my problem today. I got that feeling, like I've just been talking to a therapist. They make me feel gross and sad... like all the weird things in my head really ARE problems and I need to be taking pills for them.

Ah, but I'm not as mopey as I sound. There's a prospect of food in the near future and Vodevil is blasting, so really it's all good. C:

This drawing is old but I finished the lineart the other day and I'm still REALLY proud of it. This is the finished version. (I don't want to color it...) It's the unicorn characters by Klar, Vi-Vi and Sasha that I used to draw all the time.

School's Coming up

2007-08-09T12:09:00.001-07:00

Yesterday was the day when I was supposed to go get my schedule. When my mom told me, I pulled a lovely "OH REALLY? I AM SO IGNORANT!" although Monica dropped by earlier to tell me to come with her. The truth is, I was in my pajamas and schedule day wounds me for reasons I won't share. I could never make that walk again. But I digress, I have to go on Tuesday instead. I think that'll be okay...

Also, they claimed to send me a packet in the mail to fill out, but I never got it. I should call the school but instead I asked my mom to do it... I'm a horrible, unmotivated person. I can't believe they'll even let me back into school.

I think I'm ODing on asthma medication. X_X I'm dizzy like whoah.

Do you know why I'm an animator? I hate painting, so I can't be Blotch. I hate doing comics, so I can't be Kitten-chan. I hate inking, I can't be Humengale. I hate coloring, I can't be Korone. I hate backgrounds, I can't be Dolphy. (those are all deviantart people, except for Blotch) I like to draw. I like to draw character's doing things. I like to draw a LOT. I don't get bored drawing the same thing over and over. I am an animator. I WANT THIS. >_>

I will work on Cartoon Network trash if I have to.

I need to get a driver's license so I can get to AR. (the community college I'm going to) My mom is going to teach me, and when I'm 18 I'm going to take the test so I don't need the pink slip from school. When I get back to school, I'm going to try to get a job, and get the work permit through the counselor.

I HATE MENIAL WORK ARGH. I'm looking forward to EVERYTHING, but not that.

Okay, um. I drew some stuff. This is some of the virus characters as pokemon characters. XD; If you know the character it totally works. (except for Sin, Sin makes a horrible Ash.)

A lot of people seem to love this one. It's like the... essence of Sin. (no, it's not a cologne.)

Nothign Much

2007-08-05T11:08:00.000-07:00

Being as it's still summer, I don't have much to say in the way off real life events. Nikki spent the night this week, we flopped around, drew Kingdom Hearts fanart, and watched Osmosis Jones way too many times. It was a blast. <3 I lent OJ to her when she left.

It's my brother's birthday... he's turning 14. Time flies, right? It's all a bit weird.

My OJ virus group has a forum now! Check it out, maybe, if you have a minute. But ignore me on there. I'm a loser. =X

I hate not being online

2007-08-01T08:34:00.000-07:00

Lately people have been drawing things for me and when I can't be online, I worry that they're be offended when I don't comment immediately. X_X I was woken up my my mom knocking on Selah's garage (thats where her room is) and i had to home how to go to the dentist. Then I got online and say that 1) I had way too many comments/submissions to go through of deviantart. 2) Shaku drew Sin and Thrax for me. O3O and 3) TOM SITO REPLIED TO MY EMAIL U GUYZ YAY. Last night I dreamed that I was at an animation studio with my family, I was watching them make... something... but I don't know what... I was so happy I thought I would die. And then I woke up. My theory is that Tom Sito's email triggered my subconscience into dreaming that. C:

UM UM. here's what his email says. I'm gonna reread, reread, reread and reply after I get home. <3 Then leave an obnoxiously long comment for Shaku.

"Dear Carmen,

Thank you for your letter. I'm sorry I haven't got back to you sooner. I had to moderate two panels at the San Diego Comicon and I had a deadline on a project. I enjoyed reading your letter and I like your spirit. I don't find your style ditsy at all. Now to your questions-

As to your concern about the fate of 2D animation, true, for the last few years pundits have been writing it's epitaph. Leonard Maltin said in 2003 that the problem with 2D animation is nothing that another Lion King couldn't solve. Well, this past weekend we saw the Simpson's Movie do 74 million domestic, 168 million worldwide, while 3D flicks like Surf's Up, Barnyard, The Wild, Ant Bully and Everybodies Hero took a big dump. I don't think 2D animation will return to the levels it was ten years ago when we were doing Aladdin and Lion King, but I think the Hollywood Players have gotten the message that 3D is not the golden pass to success they once thought it was.
I think there will be more 2d as well as 3d in the future, its simply too lucrative when it hits big. For instance Shrek III has earned over half a billion dollars. How many multiple Oscar winners have done that?.

When I was your age and beginning my career in the 1970s I was told that animation was a deadend business and I was crazy for wanting to work on day on films as good as Pinnochio or Bugs Bunny's Rabbit Fire. No one could see the Little Mermaid or Ren and Stimpy in the future. So it's hard to predict where things will go. Check out my blog for Aug. 1st for more ruminaitons in this vein. (www.tomsito.com)

The colleges that still teach 2D animation include the School of Visual Arts in NY, Sheridan in Ontario and Cal Arts in LA. Ringling in Florida may also, I'm not sure. I teach 2D mechanics at USC because I tell my students it's like Shakespeare for actors, it always stays with you, irregardless lf the platform youre working with. Its good for all potential animators to know their traditional as well as some CGI skills. The cgi is just learning the software, but it pays to have some knowledge of it. The more versatile you are, the more employable. Like ballet dancers who go from Swan Lake to some avant garde troupe like Merce Cunningham or Twyla Tharp.

As to whether animators can tell people what they animated, of course we can. We just shouldn't crit or diss our film until it comes out and has it's day before the public. The weekend before Shrek came out, I didn't know if the public would go see a move that goofs on fairytales. but it was a hit.

Zak Pen was a pistol to work with, but very talented. He's gone on to write the X-Men films and is doing quite well. On the Osmosis Jones director track I kept trying to credit people who I thought deserved special notice, while it seemed to me at times Zak and writer Mark Hyman kept trying to do jokes. I like director tracks that give good insider info on the creative process. I'm pleased that you liked all the inside jokes in the background. That is a specialty of mine. It's nice to know it's been appreciated. In my new series at PBS next summer I hope to add the same kind of flavor.

I hope you find these answers illuminating. Good luck in your pursuits and perhaps one day we shall meet.

See you in ToonTown,

Tom Sito"

One more thing! My mom asked me if I sent him my dA url. I laughed and laughed and then went on dA to remind myself why I couldn't... he actually WORKED on Osmosis Jones btw. Slander much?

Getting better

2007-07-30T23:02:00.000-07:00

Sometimes life if bad, and then people do stuff like this, and it makes like worth living. My friend Inko did that... it's her awesome virus, Salin, and his adventures in the human body. I demand that anyone reading this blog GO WATCH IT. It even won an honor on youtube.

Antinon is fine... she was just leaving dA... and didn't bother to EXPLAIN ANYTHING. x_x But I love her so much, I forgive her completely. And I even feel bad about harassing her.

I made up a Thrax back story, there's a picture to go along with it. :3 I love stealing people's characters and doing whatever I want to them.

When Thrax was born, it was just before the immunities chased down his father and killed him. They then went looking for his nest, and found baby Thrax and his dead siblings and mother. (Read my description of Parasites to understand. Oh, wait, this is my blog. Actually. Just be confused by this part, okay? lol)

One of the cops wanted to follow regulations and kill him, but the other pleaded to let him raise the baby to see if he couldn't change. So they put heat-proof bandages around Thrax's hands and the cop raised him into his family. When Thrax was old enough, they removed the bandages and told him that he must never, ever touch anything with the intention to harm. No fighting at all. But the other cells didn't accept Thrax, so he was ignored, feared and bullied from the time he was allowed out of the house.

A particular bully named Slick and his thugs tormented him constantly, until once day he finally lashed out. This is what happened. After that an angry mob came after Thrax, who panicked and killed them all. In the confusion he killed his own foster family, who had only come to help him. When he found out later, he because so distressed that he burned the whole city down and left.

Dark, huh? Well, that's okay, it gets better after he starts meeting other viruses. They have a lot of zany fun. :3

Damnit.

2007-07-29T22:24:00.000-07:00

You can't be a good friend over the internet.

Hostage Situation

2007-07-27T03:12:00.000-07:00

That sounds serious, huh? Nope, this is a whole post dedicated to my new drawing. It's actually not very good, but I really like a few elements of it (the situation, the police, Hazz's face) and somehow I ended up really pleased with it... despite all the technical problems.

We've got you surrounded! Drop your weapons and put your hands up!

I don't think so, boys. I've got a hostage. I assume, as cells yourselves, that you know the principle of osmosis? What I have her is a syringe full of rapidly multiplying H2O molecules. When injected into a victim, it tips the balance of the water content, and it all diffuses right into the atmosphere. In short, boys... one hit of this and junior here shrivels like a California raisin.

That is so not biologically accurate, but it was a fun idea. XD I love villainy moments. The boy is actually just playing along, he and Hazz are friends. C:

YOU HAVE TO CLICK ON IT! The thumbnail makes it look even worse than it is.

Art

2007-07-26T14:30:00.000-07:00

Lately, about art... I've been able to feel this skill, dangling just out of my reach. I keep stretching out for it but I just barely fall short. I can see it, I can see what I would do with it, and what other people are doing with it, and I just WANT it so much... Why cant I reach it? Bleedingcrow's got it. MarsW has it in a different way.

I think it's a grasp of anatomy. The sort of knowing relationship that I have with the inside of my body, they have with the outside. Or maybe it's just a synchronization with everything, that lets them draw it as things are, and not have the logical part of their brains get in the way. The part that says arms are this long, walls are straight and eyes are oval.

I hope it's something that can be learned with time, because it's like a hole in myself to not have it.

I'm gonna go practice now instead of whining. C: And I drew this last night-

oooh deep.

2007-07-25T20:30:00.000-07:00

Have you ever noticed that the meaning of life is obvious? Everybody lives to be happy. They do everything in their power to be happy. Everyone has a terminal disease, everyone is dying... and we're all just trying to make ourselves as comfortable as we can. It seems like such a morbid thought, but it doesn't make me terribly sad.

The emo voice in my head has really got a foothold lately. I don't really know how to justify it. Luckily the voice of motivation and the voice of random dark fandomy things voice have equal grip, and it makes for a kind of balanced insanity.

One of my computer fans died, so I've been keeping my room really cool... which means I'm wearing my army jacket again. C: It's like an old friend.

I wish I had more productive thingies to upload though. :<

The Nest

2007-07-25T07:14:00.000-07:00

I always wonder why the people who get along with their parents leave the nest- now I know. With my combined uselessness and medical bills, I feel so guilty about existing right now that it would almost be a relief to die. :/

In other news, Selah got back from Florida. C: She brought home a lemur stuffed animal for me... it's my fursona. A Yellow Lemur, like Yellowcat, but with my animal as well. It's adorable and chatters when you squeeze it. <3

Not much else to say this morning. C:

Ringfinger

2007-07-23T17:13:00.001-07:00

Ringfinger, promise carved in stone.
deeper than the sea.,
ringfinger, sever flesh and bone,
offer it to me.
NIN

I wanted to to do lyrics from The Only Time but it seemed highly inappropriate. Although I love the line "My moral standing is lying down". Oh, the joys of obscure wordplay. :3

Lately I feel like I would save my parents a lot of money if I just kicked the bucket. :/ I have the most expensive mouth/education needs in all of history. (you wont hear those two things paired togetehr very often) I might just go with Selah after I turn eighteen... since her plans to go to Florida were shot down, she plans on traveling with Finn until she wants to stay somewhere.

But I still want to be an animator, I'm just rude like that, so I probably will just mooch off my parents some more.

The problem with headphones is that I have it ALL THE WAY UP and the volume isn't even loud enough to be considered "loud". Why? Is it just my computer?

This pairing just wont stop being adorable. Lux was teaching Ach how to graffiti.... it was partially successful. >w<

I also posted a bunch of scraps on dA, but my scraps tends to be a cesspool of ten minute oekakis and badly drawn yaoi, so I wont link to it. XD; Randomly posting a scrap that I drew a couple weeks ago.

Tiny spirit in a gale
bloated like soggy cereal
god will come and wash away
our tattoos and all the cocaine

from K-hole, a new CocoRosie favorite of mine.

Sunday

2007-07-22T14:37:00.000-07:00

Sunday is the day that the Jehovas Witnesses come to my door and give me a short lesson about religion. This Sunday I'm going to my aunt and uncle's house for dinner. Also, this Sunday, Nikki is getting back from camping. YUS!

No news. I can't post any drawings because last night I discovered that the only way to break my short artist's block was to draw garbage. Basically, I did two reasonably good drawings, but one was slash and one a macabre drawing of baby viruses... hatching. D: So. Nothing for now.

After that though, I sketched a really cute picture of Lux and Ach, so I'll post that later.

OH OH my Osmosis Jones soundtrack came in the mail! So I've been listening to Break U Off over and over very loudly, and also Cool, Daddy Cool. Of the four songs I wanted, only two were there. I managed to find Fever on Napster but couldn't find the remix of Hot Blooded anywhere. :weep: Fever makes me die with happiness. I'm not a big Elvis Fan, but I am for this song. :WIGGLE: (EDIT: I forgot to mention what is this. I don't think I've said it here before. Wiggle is an action akin to a dog wagging it's tail.... when something pleases me, I sort of... I donno, wiggle.)

Okay this entry is even less mature than usual, because I'm using it as an excuse to be lazy and not color....

Whoops

2007-07-21T11:11:00.000-07:00

Totally forgot to post this. It's Sin, looking out of a window (it looks like the windows in the eyes, but has a view of the heart and ribs) with scratches/scars. HUM odd, it's not like we know any characters with big scary nails that cause burn-like cuts, do we? lol.

Last night I watched the commentary on Osmosis Jones. TERRIBLE commentary. Every so often they would pop in with an interesting fact, but mostly it was long silences and the obnoxious producer (who seemed to know very little about the movie) telling people how much he liked this part. The best thing was finding out who kept putting off-color details in the background, who was a famous animator named Tom Sito.

I'm ashamed to say that I emailed him to ask him for advice on animation, but only after reading his articles and weeping. It took all my effort not to wail, "2D ANIMATION CAN'T BE DEAD, IT ISN'T FAIR!" at him.

I did, however, work in a question about fandom after becoming an animator. I've always avoided trying to contact the people who make the things I love, because I'm worried they'll say, "Oh yes, I saw some nasty-ass fanart of my own characters just the other day..." and then it'll turn out to be mine. But it was one in the morning and I was impelled by his good nature and... awesomeness.

ARE U THAR

2007-07-19T21:23:00.000-07:00

Since Nikki got her Playstation 2, I kinda miss talking to her all day. She comes back for a break sometimes, and I just get into a conversation with her before she has to go back. Well I understand, she's wanted that system really badly, but it's just kind of... I donno. Lonely. D:

Selah is getting back on Tuesday! ^_^ I'm probably going to spend the night, but parents need asking.

I talked to Inko (yes, she does go by Inko...) about collages yesterday. She's an 3d modeling major in San Fransisco, and she's graduating in a few weeks. She gave me a few tips on getting into college, and I feel a lot better after talking to her. She was like an angel. C:

Newly updated virus list! Including one from my friend Sara...... she rocks so much. Please click on that one at least!

1 Thrax by Warner Bros
2 Sin by willowwhiskers
3 Hazz by spoozer (Nikki)
4 Ebola by editor-san
5 Salin by bleedingcrow
6 Sahbar by shaku-chan
7 Ach by Arisa-Weasley
8 Trojan Virus by SuperKusoKao (Sara)
8 Gelb by Raccoonpup (Inko's sister!)

Also, THE dA CLUB IS UP! And. Not running. lol. Shaku-chan made it pretty for me though, now I just have to figure out how to run a club. HERE'S THE CLUB!!

I drew a couple pictures today. The first is a gift for my girly Antinon because she's been sick, and I want her to feel better soon. <3 This is a comic of her old characters, well, hers and mine. They were our love children. x3

And then I drew Shaku's character, Sabs. <3 He's such a spazz, I love him. I LIKE THE WAY YOU MOVE by teh Bodyrockers.

Teh wot

2007-07-18T20:48:00.000-07:00

First things first. Two poems. This one came from a dream last night... I can't remember the dream, but this was in my head when I woke up.

For every patriot who sings
who's banner waves and freedom rings
to those who shout, God save the queen!
Let every patriot be told
and every person young and old
let it be published, pressed and sold
that God has killed the queen.

Now, one more, wrote it in a bit of a haze while moping a bit ago.

All the listlessness and anger
All the intrigue and the fear
And the babes that you call you darling
and the dolls who call you dear
And the sound that passing time makes
As year slides into year

For who
Do you
Cut your
Hair?

That last part about the hair comes from a Cocorosie song that I've never heard... for some reason... it moves me.

I put 'teh wot' as the title to stop myself from calling it something obnoxiously deep, like.... LIFE. or... ILLUSIONS.

So I've talked to someone from an art college, who told me about the classes and prices. They're too expensive. I don't have money. However, I'm told that with a shitty job I can pay for an American River bachelors degree in Graphic Arts (or animation if they have it), but who's going to hire someone from an AR college when they have the entire CA arts college to chose from? Even Don Bluth likes them better... that sounds like I'm bitter, but no, I don't even want a job with Don. He's a flunkee. Disney has him whipped.

And Disney likes cheap labor.

The whole college system is just more of the fiberglass layers that people put over life, to hide the fact that we don't understand what's underneath. People say that humans make order out of life, but they don't... they just add layers.

GTFO YOU EMO FAGGOT?!?

Sorry about that, it looks like one of voices in my head is an emo... how awful for you. Luckily, I think I've driven it away with liberal use of offensive language. Thang god, because I've got fandom... news. C: For one thing, my OJ dvd shipped! Now I just have to wait for it to get here. For another, I have the list of virus OCs thus far.

1 Thrax by Warner Bros
2 Sin by willowwhiskers
3 Hazz by spoozer
4 Ebola by editor-san
5 Salin by bleedingcrow
6 Sahbar by shaku-chan

Okay, donno why I thought that list was necessary, and it took a bit of time to format for this site... so at least click on the character names, alright? At least Thrax? C:

Oh, and I forgot! I have to introduce the newest member of the group- a rabies virus named Sahbar. I have trouble remembering that, though, so I call him Sabby. He's by Shaku, who's link is above. <3

On a final note, I'll be makign a virus OC club on dA soon... I'll link to it when I do!

This is getting rediculous

2007-07-18T08:46:00.000-07:00

Haha, I say ridiculous, but I mean awesome. Two more people made Fan characters of diseases! But first, this is the real life portion of the entry...

Yesterday I was so jumpy, everything stressed me out. And then last night I couldn't sleep at even four in the morning. Somehow I got there eventually, but I think I either put myself Christmas mode, or set my nerves even higher. At eight o'clock this morning I went from deep sleep to fully awake in no seconds flat, then oddly, looked through my window? It's overcast out there. It reminds me of that book, by either Dean Koontz or Stephen King, in which aliens come and kill of a bunch of people with the environment, except for the children. What is that called? It's going to bug me now... Anyways, I woke up sweaty, disjointed and confused, so I wonder if maybe I had been dreaming.

My mom is really loosing weight now. It's actually noticeable. I think I'm getting jealous... jealous enough to diet? :o Maybe.

But fandom-wise, which is what I'm interested in right now... huzzah for creating a bandwagon! The new members were created by my internet friend Sarah and one of the old leaders of the OJ fandom, Bleedingcrow. Bleedingcrow and Mars3 are some of the few established members of the fandom that don't creep me out, so of course I immediately threw myself at their feet. Sarah had been in the fandom too actually, so even she had seniority over me. Oh well...

So these are the character sheets, not drawn by me of course. C: I would like to tell you about their personalities but it would just take too long. I'll link to their pages in the titles if you're interested. :3

EBOLA by Sarah

SALIN by Bleedingcrow

I made a body chart! I spent too long on it, though, so it now looks bad to me.

The future

2007-07-16T16:23:00.000-07:00

Lately I've been thinking about college, but not in my usual frightened way. I actually WANT to go. I want to learn about animation and CGI and work on some of those mediocre 3d kids movies. Then I'll force my friends to watch them and force them to lie about how good they are. XD

I mean, I'd rather work on the kind of movies I love... like All Dogs go to Heaven, Osmosis Jones and Lion King... but if that kind of movie is destined to go the way of the dinosaurs, well, that's alright. CGI isn't as bad as I say it is. I don't like it even half as much as 2d animation, but I don't hate it. And I can see myself working on it.

Now for the fandom half of my entry (as these seem to be going lately, with an real like half and a fictional half) my mom bought Osmosis Jones and the soundtrack off ebay today for me! I'm so happy. <3

I am the agent I never was a part of you burn
I am corruption I never was a part of you burn
I am the angel I never was a part of you burn
Of your destruction I never was a part of you burn

I am subversion I never was a part of you burn
Secret desire I never was a part of you burn
I am your future I never was a part of you burn
Swallow down all that fire

Decided to add this, since it took a lot of time. C: Ah, to be young again...

MY FRIENDS ARE SO NICE TO ME

2007-07-15T22:25:00.000-07:00

My friend Selah is in Florida to visit her father right now... and she's all, I miss you, lemme write something for you. And I'm um k. And then... and then....

SHE WROTE THIS.

I am so so spoiled by having a writer friend. She totally brought my baby Sin to life. When she made him be Puerto Rican, lol, I was like, orly? Cos I don't even know anything about Peurto Rico. But it so works.

I drew a picture today, that is no longer canon because whatever Selah says now, goes. I put total trust in her. But this is my previous thoughts on wot it would be like when Thrax and Sin met. I'm only posting cos I like the way Thrax looks in the first panel.

There is no place for this on the geek hierarchy, but even if it was, I don't think it could be lower than I already am. THAT. IS. SAD.

Day three; Final Day

2007-07-15T12:38:00.000-07:00

This is the third and last day of solitude. I don't know what time my parents are getting home, but I'm torn between joy and vague dread. I woke up this morning, dragged myself out of bed, and then was magnetically dragged back. V. Unhappily woke up at 12, THREW myself out of bed, and then did a quick cleanup of the kitchen and living room.

I was soooo happy yesterday though cos my niece made up a virus character. I can usually drag her in on things, so I'm not terribly surprised, but I am glad. C:

This is him! She drew it so art &character © Nikki.

My house is so empty

2007-07-14T13:42:00.000-07:00

Day two of being alone in my house. Already talking to myself fluently and leaving the door open w/out thinking about it. it's getting kind of lonely, my house is starting to smell weird, and I'm paranoid that feeding the animals a million times a day isn't enough. Took me like twenty minutes to find that white cat and it's food dishes.

Did not do my comic because I found a new fandom and that makes me lazy. D: When people grow up and have kids, can they still do the fandom thing? Or is that too weird? It's hard to explain fandom hopping to people who don't. It's just moving from one show/movie/book to the next, because you LOVELOVELOVE them and need to obsess over it for awhile. Here are the fandoms I can remember being in off the top of my head, going in order as far as I can remember, ♥s on the ones I spent the most time or effort in.

The Road to El Dorado
♥ Kimba the White Lion
Zelda
♥ The Vampire Chronicles
Discword
Gorillaz (band)
Loveless
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
Stargate SG1
♥ Utena
Kingdom hearts
Doctor Who
♥ Xiaolin Showdown
The Used (band)
Azumanga Diaoh
Haunted Junction
♥ Pokemon (almost life-long)
♥ Torchwood
All Dogs go to Heaven
♥ Heroes
Psych
Air Gear
Osmosis Jones

Wahhhh my life is just a series of movies and tv shows... how sad. At one point, I noticed that all my art was of my friend's characters. I guess I had a suck up phase. Now I'm so rude that I'm not even working on t-Daimon's request. XD

Instead I drew this. THRAXSIN IS MY NEW OTP. lol I made up a Mary Sue, that's so sad.

Nerding out

2007-07-13T20:31:00.000-07:00

My parents and brothers are away fro the weekend, camping. Most teenagers would throw a party... drink, invite boys over, the works. Instead, I'm like, "YAY! I CAN NERD WITH MY DOOR OPEN!" So I tore through the Osmosis Jones fandom on a whim. It turned out to be one of those small but dedicated fandoms, focused mainly on Thrax (who is, btw, the coolest villain ever), and so full of crazy people that even I was repelled. I'm trying to download the movie now, cos I've only seen it once.

And this song is awesome, although it seems to have disappeared off the face of the world. And so's the video. C:

This is cool too. C: My niece drew it. She's so talented, sometimes I'm so proud of her. <3

I'm psyched for the season premier of Psych! Sorry, bad pun. It has Tim Curry in it. :O I still think the best thing he ever did was Toxic Love for the Ferngully movie, lol. Selah is in Florida so she saw it 2 hours ago, so I cant talk to he right now. She might spoil it. :x

I colored this comic I did of wolves fighting. C:

Good morni- er, afternoon

2007-07-10T15:11:00.000-07:00

I woke up at 1:30 today, but that's okay for once, because Nikki is coming over and I don't want to spend all morning waiting. She's staying until... Thursday? I would kill any of my other friends for staying so long, but I don't see Nikki enough so it's okay. C:

I finished the rough draft of a comic for fA. I'm coloring it now. However, it makes WillowWhiskers feel unproductive so I'm also doing a 69 Nickels comic on the side. (Kudos to anyone who remembers/knows what that is)

I decided that I, like Selah, have different personalities for my usernames. These are the best way I can describe them. This blog is mostly Vienna talking I think. ^_^ I have one more username, but I always have one hidden username, just in case I want to post something that might offend my friends or rip off one of their ideas. XD

Vienna is my inner child
WillowWhiskers is an artist
Yellowcat is a furry
Stereoactive is electric

Apathy

2007-07-09T13:06:00.000-07:00

Was tempted to spend the rest of my life sitting around my parent's house, drawing dogs and eating eggs, but realized that it would never work because I'd get tired of eggs. Also, I want a puppy.

Nikki is busy not talking to me on YIM today, which SHOULD be alright since she's spending the night tomorrow, and then she's stuck w/ me. But I am NOT a reasonable human being so it is not alright. So I was cranky and left to make eggs with a huffy brb message. That'll teach her! When I came back she had posted "oO Okay."

So I left a wounded, witty message that goes as such, "Although you don't seem to care, much, at all, sorry I'm cranky today. I'm not even feeling well enough to gag myself w/ a toothbrush as I brushed my teeth, or piss and moan about my eggs being too brown. :/ It's a new low. But! I'll play sims now and project my miseries onto them, and I wont have to bug the piss out of you anymore. :<" I then did not play Sims, rather, I moped around and licked my wounds.

Later she said she was in the shower, then apologized, and I was forced to admit that I really am just a bitch today.

I don't know what my problem is. Ima chill out now though. C:

OoOoO issa premier!

2007-07-06T13:05:00.000-07:00

Season three of Doctor Who premiers tonight! Of course, I cheated and watched ahead online, but... still, it's a big deal. C: They're re-running season two for the better part of the day, and I started watching some of it... I don't care what anyone says, I loved that season. Except the Impossible Planet/The Satan Pit. And everyone seemed to LOVE those! D:

Also downloading Haunted Junction again. I missed Mutsuki terribly, and her gum chewing, snarky attitude. :D It's like reuniting w/ an old friend.

It may seem like all I do during the summer is watch stuff. It's not true. I also try to avoid people (failingly so) and draw a lot more stuff.

I found this poem I wrote under my bed, when I was getting ready to bring in the new one. C: Poetry is so embarrassing, and yet I keep doing it!

A is for apple, as these always begin
B is for beauty that’s hidden within
C is for Charlie, who is the real me
D is for daring, which I could never be
E is for end, like the end of a book
F is for failing to maintain the “look”
G is grabbing the moments I’ve got
H is for hiding the moments I’ve lost
I is for inventing the person I am
S is for sorry I don’t give a damn
K is for keyboard that I pound away at
L is for looking a little bit fat
M is for mother who loves and protects
F is for never, ever forget
O is for opting to see the full half
P is for pining to hear someone’s laugh
Q is for quibbling, I try to do none
R is for races I never have won
S is for saving the letters not sent
T is for trouble, and rules that I’ve bent
U is for Utena, who taught me be to be brave
V is for various things that I’ve saved
W is for wishing on stars in the sky
X is for xtra sh0rt w0rds L1k3 kthnx &B1
Y is for yawing too much during class
Z is for ze end of this poem at last.

Daniel Jackson's Diary...

2007-07-02T13:00:00.000-07:00

...is the best fanfiction in the world. After Anais took it down, I was so sad... I don't understand why she did it. On the fanclub, just before she took her site down, people said she was under the weather... I hope she's okay. The lady who hosted her webspace seems to thing she's fine, but she doesn't answer my emails. I do NOT give Stargate slash the time of day. I think it's stupid. I still love this fanfic more than any other I've ever read.

Anyways, I think I may be able to find the Diary again, via links form the fanclub. Some people have it saved in their files! I think I found someone and I'm going to email her for it. <3 Randomly... stuff I drew. Recently.

O SNAP

2007-07-01T02:43:00.000-07:00

RUSSELL T. DAVIES JUST WENT BIBLICAL ON MY ASS.

That was weird. I loved it. I wont give anything away but the finale of the third season of Doctor Who shocked and moved me.

And, why do the seasons always end with weird shit in the tardis? Just wondering.

EDIT: I need to learn not to mess with the old fans. I just do. I've spent hours replying to the long, serious, and angered replies this conjured up. Oi.

OEKAKIIII? ~ ♥

2007-06-27T16:43:00.000-07:00

Tried out at the Sutaro Intermediate Oekaki... I'm in! ^_~ Here are my two tryouts.

RUSSELL T DAVIES

2007-06-25T20:04:00.000-07:00

Did I spell that right? Never mind. Well, I wanted to to say.... I LOVE U RUSSELL T DAVIES. I'M SORRY THE DOCTOR WHO FANDOM IS MEAN TO YOU!

Apparently I'm under the misconception that if I talk in all caps, he'll hear me all the way from Britain. x3 Anyways... I think it's terrible that the whovians are so mean to him. He practically dredged that show up from the dead single handedly, and the fans are so ungrateful... they treat him like a bumbling idiot when he writes an episode.

I'll admit, sneaking slash hints in between the Doctor and the Master may be out of line, but RTD sure knows how to move a plot. And I love him. So there.

(PS- that doesn't justify Queer as Folk. I hated that show.)

Lifetime Channel

2007-06-22T12:03:00.000-07:00

..... is a horrible excuse for entertainment. Their original series all look terrible, even their upcoming comedy about therapists. Oh, I hear you all saying, "Carmen, how can you go wrong with a zany comedy about therapists?" But you CAN. Lifetime can.

If Will and Grace reruns didn't compel me, I wouldn't watch their channel at all.

Wanna see something horrible? A friend sent these pictures to me. :shudder:

Okay, that was too awful. To balance it out, I'll share a picture that I saved off of gaia the other day. I started playing gaiaonline.com, my otaku instincts kicked in and I started several anime folders. It's a strange custom, but when teenage anime nerds meet, they bond by exchanging computer folders full of anime pictures. I've exchanged yaoi folders with... Shelley, Toni, Monica, Selah, and Alex. XD;

My folders were disappeared one day when I was an idiot, and tried to stash the whole lot in a protected program file folder, and it zapped them. So, like an obsessive compulsive squirrel, I now re-gather crappy anime pics, most of which I care little about.

So, this is a cute little thing I saved. >w<

Utopia

2007-06-16T19:59:00.000-07:00

THis was meant to be a review for the newest episode of Doctor Who, but all the stuff I said was bungled. This review sums it up for me. The girl's a genius with words.

Other stuff... OH! I did a drawing of LassiexShawn that nobody likes. Even I don't like it anymore. But that pairing still pwns.

Why am I being a slashtard again? Someone shake me! But not literally, I'm frail. I don't eat enough orange things. D:

"Last time we talked, Mr. Smith..."

2007-06-13T23:25:00.000-07:00

"...you reduced me to tears. I promise you, it won't happen again.

Do I attract you?
Do I repulse you with my queasy smile?
Am I too dirty?
Am I too flirty?
Do I like what you like?

I could be wholesome
I could be loathsome
I guess I'm a little bit shy
Why don't you like me?
Why don't you like me
without making me try?"

That's the begining of Grace Kelly, the song, not the princess. Someone on Livejournal said that song reminded them of Shawn/Lassiter. That pairing wins the internet, so I'm inclined to agree.

If you don't know, I'm talking about the tv show Psych.

Okay, my theory on the psychology of the pairing. Mom, don't read this. You wont agree with me. XD

Okay. I think the common theory would be that Shawn is the... perpetrator? Wrong word, but close. Anyways, MY theory is that Lassie is intrigued and attracted to Shawn, at the same time resenting him, which is probably why Mylar fans are also driven to this pairing.

The kicker is, though, that Shawn ALSO likes Lassie. Unfortunately, although Lassie denies it, he DOES believe that Shawn in psychic. He also thinks that whenever Shawn flirts with him, that he's just teasing him, having read his mind. AHA. Pairing totally justified.

Also, I vaguely remember something slashable involving a fortune cookie from the series finale. Does anyone know what I'm talking about? I'm fuzzy on the details, but I remember that my slash sensors went wild.

It becomes an art, it really does. Wear the slash goggles for a few years... every pairing just becomes obvious. It's actually CONFUSING to me when people don't see them. XD

And, because I have way too many oekakis and I haven't uploaded any art, he's a couple of them-

Wow, actually... that was all of them. Well. No LassieShawn, I'm sure you're all devastated, but I'm sure I'll get to it soon. C:

Question of the day: How can one be "violet sky" or even "purple" at all, for that matter? Is it just a convenient rhyme? Is that all he could come up with?

Mother's Compromise

2007-06-07T23:06:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, when I dream I have children, this is how I feel.

A mother’s compromise

I take away your privilege
To stay out late at night
I also make you go to school
And always be polite
And in return I allow you
A bit of time each day
For you to leave the house at all
Where I can’t make sure you’re safe.

Also, if you've ever wondered what I do after school, it's pretty much like THIS VIDEO, minus the dancing. Also, lately we've been mopey and unresponsive, but this is how it USED to be.

Question of the Day: Do I have cankles? Maybe I wouldn't be able to see it if I do. How do people even GET cankles?

End of school.

2007-06-07T17:33:00.000-07:00

Today was the last day of school for this year. They don't take roll tomorrow so my friends and I are going to McDonald's. Somehow, though, it doesn't seem like the end.

It feels incomplete and undone and I feel like I've done NOTHING. I have done nothing. I got from day to day with sci-fi shows and food.

Also, I feel like having a crush was a test of me, and I failed it. Waiting for him to contact me is like waiting for the results of a test you KNOW you did terrible on, but you can't help but hope, all the same. But he won't and that'll be the end of it.

Unless he's back next year, in which case I'll be after him again. >:D

Ah, I feel weird. Like I should be happy, or sad, but I just feel like I've eaten to much and it's pissing off some butterflies in my stomach. XD

Farathoom

2007-06-06T19:36:00.000-07:00

Whenever I try to say, or even think, bloody f-ing hell, it comes out as farathoom. I think it's from Biting the Sun by Tanith Lee. It's getting ridiculous.

I found Michael in the yearbook, but is name is Miad Rou... something. It wasn't my yearbook. So... what? Does he go by Michael, or did my talking to boys deafness bungle it, so I misheard? Does he not correct me because he thinks I don't matter?! Not only that, but that sounds middle eastern. So the countries aren't narrowed down either?!

I sort of have to track him down in order to talk to him. Tomorrow is my last day. Should I go to his art class, or will I look like a nutty stalker?

Oh... Marilyn Manson cures all emotional ills. I think I should just listen to it for awhile and see if this badness goes away. I feel like I need some sage adult advice. Some wise relative or blog hopper needs to share an amusing anecdote from their rich life experience that will reassure me, and possibly imply that I will get together it Michael/Miad after all.

Question of the day: Am I actually a nutty stalker?

Watch your Voice

2007-06-05T20:17:00.000-07:00

In my school people talk in three ways;

Quietly, about nerdy things.
Normally, about preppy things.
Loudly, about vulgar things.

Question of the day: What volume should you use to talk about religion or politics?
Answer: In your inside voice; your inside-your-head voice.

Also, I drew this yesterday, and it has no Deviantart comment. Does ANYONE else think it's cute? I drew it in MS Paint, but, well.

How novel!

2007-06-04T21:14:00.000-07:00

I actually have crush on a boy at my school! A male. At my school. How novel is that? On Thursday, I saw him sitting at a table in my art class, where I hang out at lunch. HE'S FOREIGN. He was looking down his glasses at his art project and I was like, I need to talk to him, NOW. Apparently I have no problem talking to guys because I walked right up to him and asked him about his project.

He explained it in detail with this accent I couldn't place. I didn't listen to his words very well. I got shy suddenly and said I liked his art project and said I had to go. On Friday, I was too shy but right before the period ended I went over and pretended to want to talk to the guy next to him, Mason, who I kind of know. When the bell rang I asked the foreign guy his name. It's Michael, which doesn't sound foreign, but he IS.

He wasn't there today. I asked Mason where Michael was and he was confused. Poor Mason, I feel like I'm using him. Anyways, he didn't know. Later I asked if he knew if Michael had a Myspace or something, and Mason said probably not, since he's like an immigrant from Peru. They have myspace in Peru though. The girl next to me said, "I thought he said he was born in Rome?"

So, Peru or Rome. I don't know. I don't care. Omg omg. ♥ I'm such a teenager.

There's only three days left of school! Me and my friends are inviting everyone we know to Macdonald's on Friday, instead of school, cos they wont take roll on Friday. I'm going to ask Michael to come. I vaguely dread the end of school. What if I don't know him well enough by then?

Today a bit of the creek path was burned down. Luckily it was the non-creek side of the path, but it makes me sad. Me and Selah used to own that path, but a skunk moved in so we cant bring her dog back there now. We saw holes where it was burned, so assumed the skunk to be dead in the fire since the holes were even burnt a bit on the inside, but she called her friend who says skunks don't live in holes. Where, then?

Question of the day: Do skunks live in holes?