Today my friends dragged me to Sara's house, so we could bake a cake for her favorite rock star's birthday. Then I was dragged to Selah's house to watch some girly romance movie. Happily Ever After, I think it was called? It wasn't really like a fairy tale at all. Nothing gruesome/magical happened, and they all had personalities, which is almost unheard of in fairy tales.
THIS is a fairy tale. I wrote it just now.
Throughout time there have lives many fair and pious princesses . This particular damsel was the daughter of a magician king, who wanted very badly to protect his daughter from those who would try to marry her for his kingdom.
So, when she was very young, he locked her away in a tower, guarded by a small, elderly dragon. He cast a spell in ancient magic- it said, “No knight or man of selfish intent shall be able to rescue this maiden.”
And so it was, for many years the princess remained locked away. Many knights came to try to free her, but they were kept at bay by a magical shield around the tower. Some persisted, but all gave up eventually, and went away.
It was only when the princess was long of age and loosing hope that a pure knight finally arrived. He stormed the tower with ease, fought off the obligatory dragon, and carried the maiden away on horseback.
Although the princess was slightly dismayed by the death of her faithful old dragon, who never menaced nothing larger than a housefly, she was smitten by the knight in shining armor. They galloped off into the sunset, and galloped some more, and finally slowed to a brisk trot.
At last they reached her father’s kingdom. They rode right up to the castle and the king threw open the doors to welcome the hero.
“Well done, my boy! By showing you are pure of intent, you will now by married to my daughter, and crowned the king!”
“You’re highness, I beg your pardon, but I have no wish to marry your daughter.”
“Then, why did you brave the fire breathing dragon to rescue her?”
“Well,” said the knight, “I felt sorry for the poor girl. Have you any idea how boring it must be, to be locked away in a castle with nothing to do? I had only the purest of intentions in rescuing her. and now I shall be on my way.”
The princess was terribly upset! They were supposed to be married now, and live happily ever after. But her foolish father wasn’t such a wise magician after all, and he bungled the most powerful magic of all- the magic of words.
So before the man could depart, she bid him to stay the night in the castle and gather his strength. Being the genial sort, he agreed, and was shown to his chambers.
During the night the princess snuck out of the castle. She stole a horse and rode into the forest, where she rapped upon the door of a wise witch. She had taught her father everything he knew about magic. The witch, however, did not teach him everything that she knew, and was far wiser with her words.
The princess poured out her tale to the kind witch, who nodded sympathetically, and prescribed a spell that would be sure to capture the knight’s heart forevermore.
“You must get the knight to say that he loves you.”
“But he doesn’t love me at all! How do I get him to say that?”
“Get him to say the words one at a time, and catch them in a bottle. When you’ve caught all the words, open them into a book, and then press the pages closed. Leave them to dry overnight, and in the morning, the words will be true.”
The princess thanked the witch, who cackled as she departed on her horse. On her return to the castle she promptly fell asleep.
The next morning the king, the princess, and the knight sat down to breakfast. The princess concealed three glass bottles under the table, with which she intended to catch the spell.
“I was wondering, sir, where do you come from?” she inquired in her sweetest voice.
Through a mouthful of flapjacks, he replied, “I live in a small village over the mountains, where I work as an apprentice to a carpenter.”
“Oh, I see,” she said, fastening the cork on the first bottle. “Is it very exciting?”
“No, not really. It’s actually very boring. Sometimes I run away for days to wander in the forests, observing and preserving wildlife.”
She blinked. “I‘m sorry, what was that?”
“I‘ve always been very close to nature,” he continued, “I’ve started a campaign to protect wolves. It’s not fair to kill them for hunting their prey, which is what often happens. If little girls are dense enough to confuse a wolf for her grandmother, isn’t it reasonable that she be eaten?”
“Oh… do you think so?”
“Yes, I‘m a firm believer in the rights of wolves. I once knew a girl who was raised by wolves. She was actually quite charming, although she didn’t speak a word of English, but it only took a month to have her housebroken. And did I mention how much I love barefoot hiking?”
The princess was almost too perturbed to catch the second word of the spell. Wolf preservation? Barefoot hiking?
“No, I don’t think you mentioned…”
“Ah, it’s great fun. The snakes and the nettles can be a trick at first, but after awhile, everything goes numb. Perhaps you would like to go with me sometime?”
She did not attempt to catch the last word. This may not, she conceded, have been the best match after all. The finished breakfast while listening to the knight prattle on about the time he dismantled a brick house piece by piece so that a starving wolf could eat the pigs inside.
The knight departed and the princess was never forced to return to the tower. Later on she married a woodsman, who enjoyed belching contests and chopping open wolves to save any little girls they may have recently devoured. They bore many little princes and princesses lived happily ever after.
The end.
yah... I know you loves it. XD J/k! It was silly. Wanna see something I drew? it's just some dog characters I made up, with an annoying background.
