Secret Lover

I was having a conversation with Dawt and she said something amusing, which led to me writing this. :3

I have a secret lover
We share a sordid love affair
Our love is such a secret
That even she is unaware.

EPIDEMIC

For those who know me, you probably know that I've been I started an Osmosis Jones fanclub of viruses awhile back. (How nerdy do I sound?) The club grew out of reasonable proportions and lots of characters and fanart came forth.... I made a slideshow out of some of it. 8D I'm lazy and don't want to do full credits here, but all the artists are on the member list HERE. The song is Let's Do It by Alanis Morisette.

My character is Sin, the orange guy who ends up with... wow, a lot of them. Thrax, Leon, Hasta, Hazz... X_X;



Also, I drew some lions. ^_^ Go me! Actually drawing! The first lion is Hazuo and he isn;t my character, I should credit but I'm too lazy to find the url. -_-;; The second one is Simba.

300 Trailers

Lol, who DRAWS anymore? X_X;; Instead, I've been watching Youtube videos and playing DockingStation/Creatures 3. I digress, I wanted to post these, because they're super cool. In a dorky way. x'3 There are by two of my favorite youtube users, Newborn and GrumpyGrim. it's the sound files of 300 trailers applied to clips from Bambi and Lion King.






ALSO. Go vote at this site, for your favorite Doctor Who pairing. I've noticed that the top 1 is usually pretty random. jack/Algy? Why? But don't vote before you watch THIS VIDEO, a Doctor Who short written by my current favorite DW writer, Steven Moffat. I didn't think the video was out yet, but THIS AWESOME DUDE posted it on his blog. it totally made my day. ^_^

Frustrated!

I'm frustrated lately because, I'm trying to get a job. (half-heartedly, with my mom pushing me every step of the way, but still trying) The biggest problem is not having the motivation. The second biggest problem is that when I get a job, I know I won't have hardly any time to myself between work and school, so I won't be able to talk to my online peeps much.

Have you ever had to leave a friend's house or come home from a vacation, and the pressure to do something interesting is so great, that you suddenly can't think of ANYTHING to do? That's my problem. I can't think of anything to say to my online friends.

Nikki is coming over on Tuesday though. <3

I talked to the Jehovah's Witnesses today- finally know the one's name, the one who's almost always there. XD; I could never remember! Her name is Devona. Our sessions are longer now, and I actually sit int he car w/ them to talk. They're bringing me their version of the bible next week so mine will read the same as theirs. I'm worried that some day they'll realize I'm not religion material and drop me like a hot potato.

A Song

One of my oldest internet friends, Martha (or Antinon as the MCR groups know her) recorded a demo of a song... HERE. It's an alteration of the You are my Sunshine song, and the lyrics are HERE. Oh, geez, I practically died. That song... means a lot to me. @_@ And Martha, geeez, I adore her. <3

I forced Nikki to tell me I'm pretty today. I was quite ashamed but she never SAYS it... I hate women. I am such a woman. DX

If I've been a bit neurotic

Sorry I've been a bit nervy and neurotic... It was that final desperate clawing I do when I give something up. It was the end of a stage and now I'm in another, but I don't have any definitive goal for it.

What should I be DOING? My urge is to be better than Nikki. I need a boyfriend before she gets one, I need a job YESTERDAY, and I need to learn how to put on eyeliner without taking my eye out. Is that too broad? Should I start with- appearance. Nice clothes, new hair, eyebrow wax? (the latter, as per my mom's suggestion. XD; I was never even self conscious about that before...) Which would help me get a job, which would make me mature enough to know what to do with a boyfriend...

Yes. That's my goal- not looking like a slob. One step at a time. :3

If you wondered what I've been DRAWING, a topic that's far more interesting... GARBAGE. Kingdom Hearts garbage, trying to have enthusiasm for something I'm only vaguely enthusiastic about. I might actually do a bunch more, just to finish something I started for once. It's a challenge to myself. There are Myspace bulletins about how to treat your girlfriend, so I took a bunch of those from lists and I'm doing a picture a day for each one. Here are the ones I've done so far. Some of these suck, some I'm kind of fond of. :3 Most yaoi heavy post you have ever seen. @_@

• stay on the phone with her even if shes not saying anything. [Axel/Roxas]


• kiss her in front of your friends. [Marly/Vexen]

• DON'T FORCE HER TO DO ANYTHING. [Axel/Roxas]


• stay up all night with her when she's sick. [Luxord/Reno]


• When she bumps into you, bump her back and make her laugh. [Riku/Sora]

MONEYS???

XMAS MONEYS. I NEED THAT. UM. THIS MUCH. *thinks* $12.95+ $12.95+taxes....30 dollars should be a safe bet. And then additional moneys to bribe Monica into Borders.... lol

Dolores Haze, my car is limping

I once typed out the entire Lolita poem, word for word, exact punctuation, INCLUDING the French verse. Because it was one of the best poems ever. Love the rhyme scheme, the first verse and last verse... the poem was ten times better than the actual book. I have to do a book report on it (well, on some 12th grade reading level book... Josh is already doing Clockwork Orange and I can't stomach another go at the Vampire Chronicles) so I should it would be fitting to post it now. :3 I wish my poems were all as good as this.


Poem from Lolita
© Vladimir Nobokov

Wanted, wanted: Dolores Haze.
Hair: brown. Lips: scarlet.
Age: five thousand three hundred days.
Proffesion: none, or "starlet".

Where are you hiding, Dolores Haze?
Why are you hiding, darling?
(I talk in a daze, I walk in a maze,
I cannot get out, said the starling).

Where are you riding, Dolores Haze?
What make is the magic carpet?
Is a Cream Cougar the present craze?
And where are you parked, my car pet?

Who is your hero, Dolores Haze?
Still one of those blue-caped star-men?
Oh the balmy days and the palmy bays,
And the cars, and the bars, my Carmen!

Oh Dolores, that juke-box hurts!
Are you still dancin', Darlin'?
(Both in worn levis, both in torn t-shirts,
And I, in my corner, snarlin').

Happy, happy is gnarled McFate
Touring the States with a child wife,
Plowing his Molly in every State
Among the protected wild life.

My Dolly, my folly! Her eyes were vair,
And never closed when I kissed her.
Know an old perfume called Soleil Vert?
Are you from Paris, mister?

L'autre soir un air froid d'opera m'alita:
Son fele-bien fol est qui s'y fie!
Il neige, le decor s'ecroule, Lolita!
Lolita, qu'ai-je fait de ta vie?

Dying, dying, Lolita Haze,
Of hate and remorse, I'm dying.
And again my hairy fist I raise,
And again I hear you crying.

Officer, officer, there they go-
In the rain, where that lighted store is!
And her socks are white, and I love her so,
And her name is Haze, Dolores.

Officer, officer, there they are-
Dolores Haze and her lover!
Whip out your gun and follow that car,
Now tumble out, and take cover.

Wanted, wanted: Dolores Haze.
Her dream-gray gaze never flinches.
Ninety pounds is all she weighs
With a height of sixty inches.

My car is limping, Dolores Haze,
And the last long lap is the hardest,
And I shall be dumped where the weed decays,
And the rest is rust and stardust.


NOTE ABOUT ME! Nikki came over this weekend. :3 She was tired from a sleepover the night before, but we had fun anyways. Mostly we laid around and talked about fanstuff.

staff infection

So, it's rumored that a couple kids at my school have staff infections... Mr. Oropollo is going to confront them after school and force them to get checked out, and that if they find it, they're quarantining the school. I don't know if it's true yet.

Overnight, I found a drawing style that I'm comfortable with. I drew armloads of yaoi before drawing anything else, so I have nothing scanned and completed yet. I'll post something new ASAP.

My momma bought me a hoody. *hugs it* I'm happyhappy~<3

Sober by TOOL
I will find a center in you
I will chew it up and leave
TRUST ME

PS. I'm having rediculous mood swings today. I went from sobbing to being cheerful to being suicidally, wall writing pissed. Cory was nice enough to bring me IB Prouffin (never take pills you can spell the name of!!) at school today but I think I REALLY need head pills.

My symbolism-
Checkers=everything
Ana= Nikki
Lolita=Rachel
Hoodylove=Teenage love
Contact sport= the way you can only know if you're in love with physical contact
pink and brown=me
blue and white-my mom
my shirt w/ four colored boxes=my default outfit
stars=wishes
stars on strings=Billy Brown by Mika
many songs=pairings
that panther I draw=torrent
that dog I draw=me
that white wolf thing I draw=Nikki

I;m sure there are more but I forget. :3

Let's Fall in Love

I cannot get enough of this song! I had to seek out the music video. The background sounds are a little annoying to me, but the video is pretty cute, so here it is.



Hum... I drew a character sheet for Loor! One of my oldest and favorite lion characters- this is anime style, which I'm not good at, so forgive if it's not great.


My mom told me I should put my x-mas wishlist here... so, here it is. I was a Gameboy DS and Pokemon Diamond, possibly a deviantart subscription, and a hoody. (specifics I haven't decided yet... cant find a decent NIN one and the I dont like the MSI ones either)

Today I did some stuff.

Today I woke up- I got ready and went to school.
School was long.
I wrote a bad story for the yearbook.
I went home and brought chips and salsa to Monica's house.
My friends and I ate it all.
I came home and talked to Nikki and Tafolla online.
Me and Rachel watched Dane Cook videos.
I was happy that The Mist is going to be a movie.
I spent four hours writing a 1700 word Kingdom Hearts story.
In it, some stuff happens and Demyx is a nut.
All my fanfictions make the characters OCD and gay.
I sent it to Nikki, she was confused by it.
Maybe she liked it but probably not.
I argued with Dawt and said something mean, and apologized.
I still hate Dawt.
I wrote a rejection letter to a freshman.
I did the dishes and considered dieting.
My dog was sleeping on my scale so I ate corned beef hash instead.
Then I wrote this entry. C:

Homework

Again using this Blog to upload schoolwork, I'll delete it later.


Literary Terms
Carmen Aistrup

1. “One of them- her name was Sam- asked what I was going to do when I got home. The question embarrassed me. I was so embarrassed, I think she felt bad.
She made a few jokes and I laughed harder then I should have, and she went off to the next guy.
I remembered sitting in the counselors office on my second week of high school. (etc etc)”

This is an example of a flashback. Because Perry was asked by the nurse what he was going to do for a career, he was reminded of a similar experience in his second week of high school. His counselor had asked something similar, and when Perry had told her that he wanted to be a philosopher, she had laughed at him. Richie was hurt and embarrassed by this, so the same feelings were recalled when the nurse asked about what he was going to do back in the world. The theme of this would be best accounted to PTSD, because although it’s not war related trauma, he was emotionally affected by something in his childhood and it effected him in his later life.

2. “Shock. Pain. Nobody wanted to look at anybody else. Nobody wanted to talk. There was nothing to say. Lieutenant Carroll’s death was close. It hung around our shoulders and filled the space in between us. Lieutenant Carroll had sat with us, had been afraid with us, had worried about us. Now he was dead.”

This is an example of the tone of the story. The writer talks about the death of a soldier and the way the other men in his squad react to it. Rather than glorifying death in battle, like some writers do, this writer takes a grim view of Lieutenant Carroll’s death on the battlefield. Instead of with bias, he narrated the truth about what it’s like after a death of a squad-mate. In this way, his tone is one of grim realism. The theme of this passage is The Unromantic Reality of War. (give me a break, I lost my paper and I got the themes of Sparknotes. But it works, right?)

3. “I heard the rounds buzzing and whining around my head like angry bees.”

This is an example of an onomatopoeia. The word buzz makes a “zzzzzzzzzz” sounds, a steady hum, just like the sound it describes. The word “whine” is also an onomatopoeia. It has a nasally tone, because the long I sound is being projected from the nose. The word whine implies a nasally, grating tone. The theme of this passage is probably also the Grim Reality of War.

4. “We got back, and they had laid the body out on the ground. The arms were out, and the legs were crossed at the ankles. I walked by him. He wasn’t any bigger than Kenny.” (page 80)

This is an example of metaphor. When Perry is walking past the dead Vietcong, he should have thought that it was just a trophy- but instead he noticed how small and human the VC was, and that he was the same size as his brother Kenny. In this was he’s relating to the enemy, something that soldiers in a battle are conditioned not to do. The metaphor is that he compared the VC to Kenny, although he not. The theme of this quote is the moral ambiguity of war, shown in the way they treat the body and the way Perry emotionally reacts to it.

5. “You pray a lot in the World?” I asked him
“Yeah, I prayed a lot,” Brew said. “But, man, I didn’t pray nowhere near as hard.” (page 106)

This is an example of characterization. Brew and Perry are talking about God, and praying, and Perry asked whether Brew used to play, to which he replies, “Yeah, I prayed a lot, but not nearly as hard.” This shows that although Brew was a bit religious back in the World, in Vietnam, fear for his life makes him pray fervently more frequently. This could mean he really believes in God and is trying to reconcile so He lets Brew live, or it could mean that he doesn’t believe but he’s not taking the chance. It also says something about Perry- most of Perry’s role in the book is quiet, except when asking questions or answering questions. The theme of this passage is Faith.

Tool

SOBER by Tool
I am just a worthless liar
I am just an imbecile
I will only complicate you
Trust in me and fall as well
I will find a centre in you
I will chew it up and leave
I will work to elevate you
Just enough to bring you down.

Good weekend ♥

I had an awesome weekend. I spent the whole thing at Nikki's house, and I wore her cozy sweater the whole time, and we played Kingdom Hearts and nerded about it. Then we watched Surf's Up, that weird new penguin movie, and continued to nerd about Kingdom Hearts. Then I started my period and cried. BUT. It was still a great weekend and I was only crying cos it had to end. ALSO, I finally beat Nikki's little sister, Megan, at a wolf battle. (we pretend to be wolves and wrestle. x3) She's only 12 but she whoops me every time, cos I'm weak.